• Dreamshaping

    On Dreamshaping: Fear Itself

    Mark McNease

     

    The realization that many of the decisions we make throughout our lives are made from fear can be startling. Fear often determines the choices that shape our dreams and create our personal environments. When we’re children, we fear displeasing the adults in our lives, especially our parents. We watch them for signs of disapproval, and we become conditioned to pleasing them. Many times we succeed, and sometimes we fail. And it is the fear of failure, of not getting their approval or, worse, incurring their judgement, that sets a tone for our reactions to others, sometimes for the rest of our lives. I still recognize this impulse in myself in relationships, from the most intimate to the most casual. I tell a joke and watch to see if the person I’d told it to thought it was funny. Or I disparage someone who’d annoyed me, and I wait to see if my criticism is shared or if I should soften it with some kind of praise. Watching for the reactions of others is a lifelong human trait, and one of the things we watch for most is any reason to fear. Do they like me? Did they enjoy my book? Do they think I’m good at what I do? Or—and here comes the fear—do they think I’m a fakir, do they mock me when I’ve left the room, can they see the real me, for surely they won’t like it.

    Fear wears many masks and offers many faces: the face of anger, insisting we have been wronged somehow or that we’ve lost the upper hand; the face of sorrow, immersed in the fear that we will never feel pleasure again; the face of gloom, our expressions set by the conclusion that the world we believed we lived in—our personal world, the world of our community and nation, even the planet—is changing for the worse. Fear undergirds it all. Fear is there beneath the surface, and if we’re willing to patiently scrape away those layers of anger, resentment, jealousy, insecurity, judgement, indignation, warpaint, we will find fear, the flame that provides the heat for it all.

  • Lee Lynch

    Featured Book: Lee Lynch’s ‘Defiant Hearts: The Classic Short Stories’ Offers Lynch At Her Best (Pre-Order for Sept. 13)

    I’m an unabashed fan of Lee Lynch as an author, trailblazer and friend. Her Amazon Trail columns were a staple for many years, and her fiction is considered classic and essential. I’m delighted she has a new book out, this one a collection of short stories from the past 25+ years. Pre-order it now, I did!

    Defiant Hearts: The Classic Short Stories
    By Lee Lunch
    Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
    Also available on Amazon

    About ‘Defiant Hearts’

    Gathered for the first time in one collection, these short stories from Lee Lynch represent a quarter century of passionate portrayals of lesbian women. Lynch chronicles the lives of old women who fall in love, a Black firefighter seeking her place in the feminist community, bar dykes unwilling to back down, the denizens of lesbian-owned Café Femmes, and Henny—who runs an urban fruit stand while regaling her baby butch assistants with tales from her life. Iconic characters from Lynch’s novels also make an appearance: Frenchy Tonneau from The Swashbuckler and Annie Heaphy from Toothpick House.

    Lee Lynch’s work is considered among the classics and a cornerstone in the large and permanent foundation of lesbian literature.

    About Lee Lynch

    Photo by Sue Hardesty

    Lee Lynch is the co-curator, with S. Renee Bass, of the recent collection, Our Happy Hours, LGBT Voices From the Gay Bars, available from Flashpoint Publications. Her  novel, Rainbow Gap, is available from Bold Strokes Books and other outlets. Her book, An American Queer, a collection of “The Amazon Trail” columns, was presented with the 2015 Golden Crown Literary Society Award in Anthology/Collection Creative Non Fiction. This, and her award-winning fiction, including The Raid, The Swashbuckler, and Beggar of Love, can be found at http://www.boldstrokesbooks.com/Author-Lee-Lynch.html.

  • New

    Hot August Giveaway! ‘Open Secrets’ Free on Kindle for 5 Days

    August is a killer, and what better way to beat the heat than with a cool drink and a brand new murder mystery. My latest, ‘Open Secrets: A Maggie Dahl Mystery’, is available free on Kindle for five days only. Starting August 5 and ending August 9, you can download the second book in the Maggie Dahl series for no cost. Just click and enjoy!

    Reminder: reviews and ratings are always appreciated. 

    About ‘Open Secrets’

    Maggie Dahl returns in ‘Open Secrets.’ It’s been six months since the media circus surrounding the last murder Maggie solved, and a year since her beloved husband David died. The dust seems to have finally settled. Then one morning a customer walks in and asks Maggie to do her a favor.

    Soon a body is discovered on a rural New Jersey road. A body Maggie is sure belongs to a local author whose next book was rumored to reveal secrets not everyone wanted known. But were they enough to kill for? And who murdered the woman found in the woods? Maggie is determined to find out, even as her life continues its road back to normal, complete with the possibility of new love. Can she find the answers she seeks in the death of a local celebrity? And will love be part of her life once again when she least expects it?

  • LGBTSR

    Savvy Senior: Should You Take Daily Aspirin for Your Heart?

    By Jim Miller

    Dear Savvy Senior,

    I’ve been taking daily aspirin for almost 20 years now because I have a family history of heart disease. But I recently read that using aspirin is not recommended anymore. What can you tell me about this change in philosophy?

    Confused Aspirin User

    Dear Confused,

    There’s no doubt that taking low-dose daily aspirin is beneficial to most people who’ve had a heart attack or stroke. But if you don’t have heart disease, should you take it as a preventative measure? The answer for most people is probably not, according to new guidelines from the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), a widely respected independent panel that develops recommendations on preventive health care. Here’s what you should know.

  • New

    ‘Open Secrets: A Maggie Dahl Mystery’ Author Copies Arrive!

    I must say I really like the way this cover turned out. It’s one of my best.

    Now available: eBook and paperback editions of Open Secrets: A Maggie Dahl Mystery

    Download a free 6-chapter sample HERE!

    About Open Secrets

    Maggie Dahl returns in ‘Open Secrets.’ It’s been six months since the media circus surrounding the last murder Maggie solved, and a year since her beloved husband David died. The dust seems to have finally settled. Then one morning a customer walks in and asks Maggie to do her a favor.

    Soon a body is discovered on a rural New Jersey road. A body Maggie is sure belongs to a local author whose next book was rumored to reveal secrets not everyone wanted known. But were they enough to kill for? And who murdered the woman found in the woods? Maggie is determined to find out, even as her life continues its road back to normal, complete with the possibility of new love. Can she find the answers she seeks in the death of a local celebrity? And will love be part of her life once again when she least expects it?

  • LGBTSR,  Molly DeVoss,  Podcasts

    Cat Talk Radio with Molly DeVoss and Co-Host Dewey: 6 Reasons to Adopt a Shelter Cat

    I met certified cat behaviorist Molly DeVoss when we adopted our cats Wilma and Peanut, both shelter cats and both adults when we brought them home. A friend suggested I reach out to Molly in Dallas to deal with some behavioral issues. I did, and her advice was spot on. Our “girls” are as much a part of our family as we are, and I can’t thank Molly enough for her advice. CLICK TO LISTEN TO THE EPISODE.

  • Kapok,  LGBTSR

    Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources: How to Increase Energy Levels in Men as they Age

    By Angelica Herrera Venson, DrPH, MPH

    The following excerpt is reprinted with permission from Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources.

    It’s no secret that energy often decreases as people age. Getting up in the morning gets more difficult and you get tired faster at the end of the day. While some energy loss is due to age, there are also ways to increase energy levels in men as they age.

    In fact, seniors can stay much more fit and active than many people assume. Age doesn’t need to stop you from being mobile and enjoying life. The following areas are all ways to increase energy levels and get back to your life.

    Check Vitamin D Levels

    Vitamin D is synthesized in the presence of sunlight. Simply getting sun regularly is often enough. But, your ability to make vitamin D decreases with age. You may not be able to get your levels high enough from sunlight alone.

    This makes vitamin D one of the few supplements that most seniors would benefit from. In fact, vitamin D supplements are often prescribed.

    There are many symptoms of vitamin D deficiency, one of which is lower energy levels.

  • Gay Travelers Magazine,  LGBTravel,  LGBTSR,  Travel

    Gay Travelers Magazine: Steven and Tom Visit The Wizard of Oz Museum

    Reprinted with permission from Gay Travelers Magazine

    By Steve Skelley and Thomas Routzong

    The Wizard of Oz Museum in Cape Canaveral, Florida near Cocoa Beach is filled with an amazing collection of memorabilia and a 20000 square foot room where you can enjoy an immersive Van Gogh experience and the immersive Wizard of Oz experience.

    In 1900, L. Frank Baum published The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. It was an instant hit with over three million book sales, a Broadway musical and an iconic 1939 movie. The Wizard of Oz Museum in Cape Canaveral, Florida has an impressive display of autographs, clothing, dolls, comics, toys, maps, original props and costumes, collectible figurines, posters and first editions including the earliest recorded copy of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

  • Savvy Senior

    Savvy Senior: How to Find and Claim Your Family’s Forgotten Assets

    By Jim Miller

    Dear Savvy Senior,

    A while back I read an article about some online tools that can help people search for lost or forgotten money left behind by their deceased relatives, but I’ve misplaced it. Can you help me with this? My mom, who passed away in January, was always bad about keeping up with her money, so I’m wondering if there was anything she left behind.

    Searching Son

    Dear Searching,

    Forgotten or lost money is actually very common in the United States. According to the National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators, there are literally billions of dollars in unclaimed funds sitting in state treasuries and other agencies just waiting to be found.

    These unclaimed funds are from accounts that are inactive or whose owners, or their heirs, cannot be located. Unclaimed funds can include things like lost or forgotten saving or checking accounts, stocks, utility security deposits, tax refunds, life insurance policy proceeds, un-cashed dividend checks, matured savings bonds and much more.