-
Video urges CA Governor Jerry Brown to sign LGBT history bill
Update: The bill has been signed.]]>
-
Increase in Minnesota same-sex couples could be deciding factor in election
Let’s hope so! Census figures show a rising number of same-sex couples in Minnesota, which could be a decisive factor in the 2012 election, especially as it pertains to the constitutional marriage amendment that’s been mounted by anti-equality forces there.
From MPR News:
St. Paul, Minn. — New census data showing the number of households occupied by same-sex couples rose by 50 percent in Minnesota over the last decade could have rippling effects as the state heads toward a constitutional vote on same-sex marriage in next year’s election.
People in almost 14,000 households throughout the state told the census last year that they were living with their unmarried same-sex partners. Gay and lesbian couples account for less than 1 percent of households across the state.
One such household was in the Longfellow neighborhood of south Minneapolis. Peter Sage is a teacher who lives with his partner of ten years, and their four year old son. “For us, it was about letting it be known that we are out there, hopefully in significant numbers,” Sage said. “I think 10 years ago, it would have been different. People would have been more hesitant.” Ten years ago was the first time the census counted gay couples. Same-sex marriage wasn’t legal in any state in 2000. Minnesota struck down its sodomy laws in 2001 and the federal government did so in 2003. When Americans filled out their census forms in 2010, same-sex marriage was legal in five states plus the District of Columbia, and constitutionally prohibited in 29 others. Minnesota is not either of those, but the question will be on the ballot in next year’s November elections.
]]> -
Column: Trans-Feelings
By Stephanie Mott
I started taking hormones in October, 2006. The first few weeks (after the first two weeks) were so full of feelings. Feelings I had suppressed forever, exploding like water bursting through a broken dam. Feelings I never experienced before, emerging like tender buds, exposing themselves to the sunlight, and offering a curious suggestion of the flowers preparing to blossom.
As time passed, I began to understand a little about what they meant to me, and about me. Each a tiny clue about who I’ve been, who I am, and who I might become. Each a veiled hint as to my dreams, my values, and my fears. Each revealing another secret, multi-dimensional puzzle piece of my soul.
The struggle of having brand new “fifteen-year-old” feelings as a “fifty-something” woman, yields itself to the amazing awakening to that which has always been. The sadness of not being the little girl, is lessened by the discovery of the woman. The truth cries. At its own inherent beauty. For the lost lifetime of illusion. And from the instant certainty that it can never again be taken away.
Still, new feelings reveal themselves from time to time. The most common, the most powerful, and the most amazing feelings are about love. I had no idea. For each of the parts of me, is a corresponding need. There are far more love feelings than I could have ever imagined. Here are just a few.
Maternal love. As I arrive home from grocery shopping, and the young man from next door is mowing my grass, and I am overwhelmed by the quite unexpected need to make him a sandwich and give him a glass of milk. As a young woman enters my life, looking for someone to help her find herself again, and looking to me.
A daughter’s love for her mother. Impossible. She died in 1989. But God gave me a new mom. And I am her daughter. Don’t tell me there isn’t a miracle happening here.
Sisterly love. The nuances of sorority are nothing like the “facts” of fraternity. I finally belong to the place where I am – no longer a “misfit in the land of lost toys”, as Toni, one of my many amazing new sisters, would say. Physical love. Sometimes I am near some guy and I get feelings in places I don’t even have yet! OMG. Romantic love. I place my comparatively small hand in his, and a different feeling of correctness travels throughout me. He becomes a part of every thought, as though I have become more, without losing me in the process. He compliments my womanhood, my personhood. To steal (and amend) a line from the movie, As Good As It Gets, he “makes me want to be a better woman.” As years have now gone by, I find that truly understanding my feelings is just another of the multitude of unsolved riddles of life, generally summed up in the one-word question, “Why?” And in its place, comes the understanding that time spent asking is time spent not living. And living is the gift. The spoils of war, as it were. The battle done. Now comes the feeling most pervasive to my existence, wholly unwilling to allow the battlefield to prepare for yet another victim. The struggles are senseless, in that they should never have happened. You will not swallow one more child as I stand silent. As you purposefully destroy soul after soul in some misguided quest to bring light to the darkness, you bring darkness to the light. Your path, from this moment forward, will be required to go through me – and millions like me – all of us feeling the same feelings. It is not anger. It is far more powerful than anger. It is truth. It is justice. It is equality. It is freedom. It is time. It has been said, “to feel is to be alive”. For some, when the feelings are ones of hopelessness, to feel is to die. The most memorable feelings of my life today are these. The feeling of realizing I was not alone – it was possible for me to transition. The feeling of seeing myself in the mirror. And the feeling of knowing I can make a difference. However, in the final analysis, nothing compares to the feeling of feeling without fear – the feeling of the freedom to be me. Stephanie’s columns can also be found at Liberty Press. Stephanie Mott is executive director of the Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project and a member of the Board of Directors at Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka She can be reached at stephanie.mott@k-step.org or stephaniem@mcctopeka.org ]]> -
Column: Trans-Feelings
By Stephanie Mott
I started taking hormones in October, 2006. The first few weeks (after the first two weeks) were so full of feelings. Feelings I had suppressed forever, exploding like water bursting through a broken dam. Feelings I never experienced before, emerging like tender buds, exposing themselves to the sunlight, and offering a curious suggestion of the flowers preparing to blossom.
As time passed, I began to understand a little about what they meant to me, and about me. Each a tiny clue about who I’ve been, who I am, and who I might become. Each a veiled hint as to my dreams, my values, and my fears. Each revealing another secret, multi-dimensional puzzle piece of my soul.
The struggle of having brand new “fifteen-year-old” feelings as a “fifty-something” woman, yields itself to the amazing awakening to that which has always been. The sadness of not being the little girl, is lessened by the discovery of the woman. The truth cries. At its own inherent beauty. For the lost lifetime of illusion. And from the instant certainty that it can never again be taken away.
Still, new feelings reveal themselves from time to time. The most common, the most powerful, and the most amazing feelings are about love. I had no idea. For each of the parts of me, is a corresponding need. There are far more love feelings than I could have ever imagined. Here are just a few.
Maternal love. As I arrive home from grocery shopping, and the young man from next door is mowing my grass, and I am overwhelmed by the quite unexpected need to make him a sandwich and give him a glass of milk. As a young woman enters my life, looking for someone to help her find herself again, and looking to me.
A daughter’s love for her mother. Impossible. She died in 1989. But God gave me a new mom. And I am her daughter. Don’t tell me there isn’t a miracle happening here.
Sisterly love. The nuances of sorority are nothing like the “facts” of fraternity. I finally belong to the place where I am – no longer a “misfit in the land of lost toys”, as Toni, one of my many amazing new sisters, would say. Physical love. Sometimes I am near some guy and I get feelings in places I don’t even have yet! OMG. Romantic love. I place my comparatively small hand in his, and a different feeling of correctness travels throughout me. He becomes a part of every thought, as though I have become more, without losing me in the process. He compliments my womanhood, my personhood. To steal (and amend) a line from the movie, As Good As It Gets, he “makes me want to be a better woman.” As years have now gone by, I find that truly understanding my feelings is just another of the multitude of unsolved riddles of life, generally summed up in the one-word question, “Why?” And in its place, comes the understanding that time spent asking is time spent not living. And living is the gift. The spoils of war, as it were. The battle done. Now comes the feeling most pervasive to my existence, wholly unwilling to allow the battlefield to prepare for yet another victim. The struggles are senseless, in that they should never have happened. You will not swallow one more child as I stand silent. As you purposefully destroy soul after soul in some misguided quest to bring light to the darkness, you bring darkness to the light. Your path, from this moment forward, will be required to go through me – and millions like me – all of us feeling the same feelings. It is not anger. It is far more powerful than anger. It is truth. It is justice. It is equality. It is freedom. It is time. It has been said, “to feel is to be alive”. For some, when the feelings are ones of hopelessness, to feel is to die. The most memorable feelings of my life today are these. The feeling of realizing I was not alone – it was possible for me to transition. The feeling of seeing myself in the mirror. And the feeling of knowing I can make a difference. However, in the final analysis, nothing compares to the feeling of feeling without fear – the feeling of the freedom to be me. Stephanie’s columns can also be found at Liberty Press. Stephanie Mott is executive director of the Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project and a member of the Board of Directors at Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka She can be reached at stephanie.mott@k-step.org or stephaniem@mcctopeka.org ]]> -
I now pronounce you spouse and spouse: New York revises terms on marriage license
Frank and I will be finding out soon enough – a trip to City Hall is planned sometime in August. Terminology was always iffy for me. I preferred the word “lover” to “partner” for many years, since partner sounded like I was in business with the man I was waking up with every day. That was twenty years ago, and now I say partner very easily. From what I hear, “husband” and “wife” are slowly making their way into common lgbt currency, but maybe “spouse”, as it will now say on marriage licenses in New York, will win the day.
From the Poughkeepsie Journal:
ALBANY — The state Health Department today released a new marriage license for the state to recognize same-sex couples, changing the form to have two columns for “bride/groom/spouse.”
The new marriage licenses – which add the term spouse — will be distributed to town and city clerk offices across the state in advance of the same-sex marriage law taking effect July 24.
Clerks have been awaiting the new forms so they will be ready to process them when the law starts. Some clerk offices – including in Rochester, Ithaca, Binghamton and New York City – plan to open on July 24, a Sunday, to begin accepting the forms.]]> -
I now pronounce you spouse and spouse: New York revises terms on marriage license
Frank and I will be finding out soon enough – a trip to City Hall is planned sometime in August. Terminology was always iffy for me. I preferred the word “lover” to “partner” for many years, since partner sounded like I was in business with the man I was waking up with every day. That was twenty years ago, and now I say partner very easily. From what I hear, “husband” and “wife” are slowly making their way into common lgbt currency, but maybe “spouse”, as it will now say on marriage licenses in New York, will win the day.
From the Poughkeepsie Journal:
ALBANY — The state Health Department today released a new marriage license for the state to recognize same-sex couples, changing the form to have two columns for “bride/groom/spouse.”
The new marriage licenses – which add the term spouse — will be distributed to town and city clerk offices across the state in advance of the same-sex marriage law taking effect July 24.
Clerks have been awaiting the new forms so they will be ready to process them when the law starts. Some clerk offices – including in Rochester, Ithaca, Binghamton and New York City – plan to open on July 24, a Sunday, to begin accepting the forms.]]> -
Nudging the men in your life to better health
For whatever reasons, men can be reluctant to take of themselves, especially when it comes to regular doctor visits, preventive care, and making those dreaded lifestyle changes. I’ve found it helps to have a partner whose health I’m concerned about – a sort of “we’re in this together” element – but anyone with men they care about can help push them along. Our health, after all, has a ripple effect on those around us and we can ease their minds at the same time we ease our own.
From the CDA Press:
Men’s health issues don’t affect only men. They can significantly impact everyone around them. Women live longer than men, and consequently they see their fathers, brothers, sons, and husbands suffer or die prematurely. From the moment a male is born, statistics show that, on average, he will live a shorter life span than his female counterpart by about five years. Why? Males have higher rates in 12 of the 15 leading causes of death, many of which are preventable. Men need physical exams every year after the age of 40, (not for prostate exams and Viagra) but to prevent heart attacks, stroke, stress related illness and cancer. These diseases can be prevented if caught early enough. If the men in your life are reluctant to get their annual physical exams or avoid getting medical attention, the following approaches may help: • Appeal to his competitive side and his need to be at the top of the hierarchy. Whether it being the head of the household or the CEO of a company, good health means he can continue to be top dog and will be around for a long time. • Find out whether he is more comfortable seeing a male or female health care provider and make sure he’s seeing the one he prefers. Be sure they are the type of physician that inspires rather than scolds or he will never want to go back. Continue reading]]> -
LGBT seniors’ experiences compounded by discrimination
There’s an excellent article in the Rochester City Newspaper about lgbt seniors and the variety of experiences we can face as we age, from meaningful moments of acceptance, to discrimination past and present. We all get old if we’re lucky, but being old and lgbt can have unique challenges – something that’s thankfully coming more to the surface of our cultural consciousness.
From the City Newspaper:
The Gay Golden Years
When Bud, an elderly gay man who lives in a Rochester-area residential community for seniors, posted news clippings outside his door regarding same-sex marriage, the reaction he got from other residents was not overwhelmingly positive. “Some of the pictures were taken down,” he says. “Once someone pinned note paper covering over a picture.” It was a little intimidating, Bud says. It’s also an example of a culture that can be deeply entrenched in some traditional nursing and assisted-living homes: prejudice that can have a profound emotional impact on elderly members of the LGBT community. Though Bud, who recently celebrated his 84th birthday, is out, he’s still cautious. He lives alone and he asked that his last name not be printed. “I’ve always been me,” he says. “But I’ve been careful not to out myself to the wrong people.” Bud is certainly not the first gay man to move into a senior-living community. But he is part of a population of seniors that is gradually becoming more visible both nationally and locally. Gay culture is sometimes criticized for its exaggerated emphasis on youth, but there is growing awareness about older members of the LGBT community – people who have reached their mid-60’s, and are living into their 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. What do we know about them? What are their concerns? Are senior-living communities and nursing homes becoming more accepting of their gay clients? And how do they treat gay couples? Continue reading]]> -
Family matters: the importance of knowing your family’s health history
I’m adopted, which could have made this one tricky for me had I not reconnected with my birth family. I was able to ask them about any history of glaucoma (my nephew has a severe form), when I was diagnosed with hypertension in my right eye. According to Men’s Health, one of the easiest things to do to keep up on what might be coming our way is to attend a family reunion.
From Men’s Health:
There’s actually a reason to keep in touch with Uncle Jim Bob and Cousin Nancy. Your family cancer history can change quite a bit between the ages of 30 and 50—which could mean you need earlier cancer screenings—according to a study in this week’s Journal of the American Medical Association.
The American Cancer Society’s screening schedule is the guideline most doctors use for average folks to schedule cancer tests. For example, it suggests that you should have your first colorectal cancer screening starting at age 50. However, having a close relative diagnosed with cancer can increase your risk and move up your screening schedule by a decade or even two.
Continue reading]]> -
Family matters: the importance of knowing your family’s health history
I’m adopted, which could have made this one tricky for me had I not reconnected with my birth family. I was able to ask them about any history of glaucoma (my nephew has a severe form), when I was diagnosed with hypertension in my right eye. According to Men’s Health, one of the easiest things to do to keep up on what might be coming our way is to attend a family reunion.
From Men’s Health:
There’s actually a reason to keep in touch with Uncle Jim Bob and Cousin Nancy. Your family cancer history can change quite a bit between the ages of 30 and 50—which could mean you need earlier cancer screenings—according to a study in this week’s Journal of the American Medical Association.
The American Cancer Society’s screening schedule is the guideline most doctors use for average folks to schedule cancer tests. For example, it suggests that you should have your first colorectal cancer screening starting at age 50. However, having a close relative diagnosed with cancer can increase your risk and move up your screening schedule by a decade or even two.
Continue reading]]> -
Rick Rose: Living to tell – the welcome demise of "DADT"
There was new-found freedom across the world last Thursday as gay U.S. troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan shouted with exhilaration that a federal appeals court order the day before here in the states officially stopped enforcement of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, putting our community members who are in the U.S. military one big step closer to revealing our sexual orientation without fear of retribution or dismissal. In legal terms, it’s been a long time coming as the Pentagon was told on the Wednesday after the 4th of July 2011 to cease investigations and discharges of service members in violation of the ban on gays serving openly in our military.
The Defense Department will comply with the court order and took steps that very day to begin informing military forces of the change. This milestone event was outlined in the law passed in December 2010 which also requires that every man and woman serving in U.S. military uniform to complete training courses about the end of the policy. The wimpy Clinton “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which began in late 1993, will officially end 60 days after our fearless President Obama’s written certification that such courses are ready to be implemented. Let freedom ring…and let everyone hear, loud and queer, from shore to shore!
“I’m ecstatic,” said one soldier stationed in Baghdad who joined other gay soldiers on Thursday night at a military coffee shop to celebrate. Meanwhile, in the steam room at my local YMCA near Barskdale AFB in Bossier City, LA, following our workouts, a young reservist expressed his freedom in a different way. Flashing a beautiful, pearly white smile through the hazy steam, he asked me, “Are towels required in here?” I answered judiciously and with no self interest, “Not required.” He left the room, hung his wet towel outside the door, and returned, flashing that same smile. Triggered by his question, I could sense he wasn’t from here as I opened up a refreshing conversation asking him if he was visiting.
He told me he was in the AF for a year, then revealed to his superiors that having a college education was more important. He requested and was given the opportunity to pursue his future and switch to being in the reserves during his college studies. He told me he was from a long lineage of military family, and introduced himself as Rich as he extended a firm handshake. Seeing my short crew cut, Rich asked if I was military. I explained that while my father and brother were Marines, it wasn’t right for me. There was silence. Immediately, the thought “don’t ask, don’t tell” crossed my mind in its new light, and I knew it was safe to move the conversation forward in a matter that I am certain would not have happened just a week before. The next night, I met another young reservist while at the local arts theatre, the Robinson Film Center. We hit it off, so I invited him back to my place to continue our conversation. “I’m new to all this,” 21 year old Joe said. “I love women, but I really like the feeling of being with a man. I really want to explore this all. It feels good; it feels right!” I had well over a quarter of a century of newness on Joe, having had my first man on man sexual experience at 18 years old, and comfortably shared those experiences with him. Over these last couple ensuing days, I embarked on several edifying conversations with my friends, most older like me; many, military wives; some gay, some straight. Not one of us thought about the power banning this policy would have on lives such as Rich’s and Joe’s. Up til now, these fine young men just starting their adult lives could have lost their livelihood, their income, their career, their education, their housing, their way of life for expressing their feelings and simply telling me who they were should I have not kept what once was their secret, but no longer holds any power. Their simple, honest, truthful behaviors now rang of freedom, not fear…and they could be who they are…proud members of the U.S. military, by choice, and proud members of the LGBT community, by birth. As the days pass by and we head to full transparency in the military, LGBT, U.S. and world communities, optimism will rise as we realize how stupid, silly and senseless DADT was. Today I read a quote from an Air Force staff sergeant at Bagram who quoted his commander, “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t care, doesn’t matter. We have a war to fight that is much more important.” We all have another war to fight and win. In their ruling last Wednesday, the three-judge panel on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit, noted that the Obama administration has said it thinks another federal law and Clinton monstrosity — the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits federal recognition of same-sex marriages — is unconstitutional. Fly your flag high and fight the fight. Freedom will ring louder and queerer, still. It starts with Barack and Andrew…Rich and Joe…me and you. -Rick]]> -
Rick Rose: Living to tell – the welcome demise of "DADT"
There was new-found freedom across the world last Thursday as gay U.S. troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan shouted with exhilaration that a federal appeals court order the day before here in the states officially stopped enforcement of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, putting our community members who are in the U.S. military one big step closer to revealing our sexual orientation without fear of retribution or dismissal. In legal terms, it’s been a long time coming as the Pentagon was told on the Wednesday after the 4th of July 2011 to cease investigations and discharges of service members in violation of the ban on gays serving openly in our military.
The Defense Department will comply with the court order and took steps that very day to begin informing military forces of the change. This milestone event was outlined in the law passed in December 2010 which also requires that every man and woman serving in U.S. military uniform to complete training courses about the end of the policy. The wimpy Clinton “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which began in late 1993, will officially end 60 days after our fearless President Obama’s written certification that such courses are ready to be implemented. Let freedom ring…and let everyone hear, loud and queer, from shore to shore!
“I’m ecstatic,” said one soldier stationed in Baghdad who joined other gay soldiers on Thursday night at a military coffee shop to celebrate. Meanwhile, in the steam room at my local YMCA near Barskdale AFB in Bossier City, LA, following our workouts, a young reservist expressed his freedom in a different way. Flashing a beautiful, pearly white smile through the hazy steam, he asked me, “Are towels required in here?” I answered judiciously and with no self interest, “Not required.” He left the room, hung his wet towel outside the door, and returned, flashing that same smile. Triggered by his question, I could sense he wasn’t from here as I opened up a refreshing conversation asking him if he was visiting.
He told me he was in the AF for a year, then revealed to his superiors that having a college education was more important. He requested and was given the opportunity to pursue his future and switch to being in the reserves during his college studies. He told me he was from a long lineage of military family, and introduced himself as Rich as he extended a firm handshake. Seeing my short crew cut, Rich asked if I was military. I explained that while my father and brother were Marines, it wasn’t right for me. There was silence. Immediately, the thought “don’t ask, don’t tell” crossed my mind in its new light, and I knew it was safe to move the conversation forward in a matter that I am certain would not have happened just a week before. The next night, I met another young reservist while at the local arts theatre, the Robinson Film Center. We hit it off, so I invited him back to my place to continue our conversation. “I’m new to all this,” 21 year old Joe said. “I love women, but I really like the feeling of being with a man. I really want to explore this all. It feels good; it feels right!” I had well over a quarter of a century of newness on Joe, having had my first man on man sexual experience at 18 years old, and comfortably shared those experiences with him. Over these last couple ensuing days, I embarked on several edifying conversations with my friends, most older like me; many, military wives; some gay, some straight. Not one of us thought about the power banning this policy would have on lives such as Rich’s and Joe’s. Up til now, these fine young men just starting their adult lives could have lost their livelihood, their income, their career, their education, their housing, their way of life for expressing their feelings and simply telling me who they were should I have not kept what once was their secret, but no longer holds any power. Their simple, honest, truthful behaviors now rang of freedom, not fear…and they could be who they are…proud members of the U.S. military, by choice, and proud members of the LGBT community, by birth. As the days pass by and we head to full transparency in the military, LGBT, U.S. and world communities, optimism will rise as we realize how stupid, silly and senseless DADT was. Today I read a quote from an Air Force staff sergeant at Bagram who quoted his commander, “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t care, doesn’t matter. We have a war to fight that is much more important.” We all have another war to fight and win. In their ruling last Wednesday, the three-judge panel on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit, noted that the Obama administration has said it thinks another federal law and Clinton monstrosity — the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits federal recognition of same-sex marriages — is unconstitutional. Fly your flag high and fight the fight. Freedom will ring louder and queerer, still. It starts with Barack and Andrew…Rich and Joe…me and you. -Rick]]> -
New York county clerk resigns over marriage equality
People in jobs that require public service without discrimination should resign if they refuse to perform their duties. I don’t imagine anyone is quitting their jobs at the Department of Motor Vehicles over having to issue driver’s licenses to lgbt people.
I have remained perplexed at the inability of so many of the anti-marriage crowd to grasp that it is a license. There is no such thing as a gay fishing license, and there is no such thing as a gay marriage license.
We should not be unkind to this woman, but I think leaving her job is for the best. Her religious beliefs are irrelevant to her position as a county clerk.
From Politics on the Hudson:
Laura Fotusky, the Republican town clerk in Barker, Broome County, submitted her resignation last night, saying she could not sign licenses for same-sex couples. Same-sex marriage becomes legal July 24. Her resignation is effective July 21.
“The Bible clearly teaches that God created marriage between male and female as a divine gift that preserves families and cultures. Since I love and follow Him, I cannot put my signature on something that is against God,” she wrote in her resignation letter, which was posted last night on the New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms’ website.
Fotusky is the first clerk to resign over the issue, but Jason McGuire, executive director of the anti-gay-marriage group New Yorkers For Constitutional Freedoms’ predicted, “This is just the tip of the iceberg.” He said the law should have exempted clerks who because of their religious beliefs do not want to recognize same-sex marriages.
]]>