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50 useless signs
Time for the occasional ‘for no particular reason’ post. Here are 50 useless signs (BuzzFeed).]]> -
Interview: Mark Reed-Walkup on his Skype wedding and the Dallas Morning News
By Rick Rose
Mark Reed-Walkup and his partner Dante Walkup made headlines for conducting their marriage ceremony via Skype with the couple in Texas and the minster in Washington, D.C. They were subsequently informed the marriage would not be honored, and had that disappointment compounded by the refusal of the Dallas Morning News to run their announcement. As it turned out, vindication was theirs, at least in part. Our own Rick Rose became friends with the couple through Mark’s niece Shanna. He caught up with Mark on the day their marriage announcement finally ran in the Dallas paper. Here they share their interview with you.
RR: How did you first meet and did you know he was “the one” for you?
MRW: I spotted Dante on the dance floor, dancing by himself, so full of life, self-confidence and thought he was the most handsome man in the world. We became best friends at first but on a trip to P-town together 11 years ago, we fell deeply in love and that trip changed our lives forever.
RR: Was the thought of marriage even an option then?
MRW: We never thought marriage would be an option in our lifetime. Same-sex marriage was not legal anywhere at that time.
RR: At what point did you decide to marry? Who asked who and how?
MRW: When we became partners, we created commitment vows that we would strive for in our relationship. One of those vows was to have “fun at fifty”, so when we turned 50, we decided it was time. I asked Dante to be my husband on a very romantic trip to New Orleans.
RR: When was the first time you felt discrimination in your journey to marry and what emotions were evoked?
MRW: We tried to submit our wedding announcement to the Dallas Morning News and were denied because of the ban on same-sex marriage in Texas. I had to go before a county judge to get a court-ordered name change because of the ban.. Discrimination has a very negative emotional impact every time you experience it. Its hurts, it’s degrading and it makes us both very angry at the way our community is mistreated and disrespected.
RR: How and why did you decide to marry in Texas using a Washington, DC clergy?
MRW: We’d been together for 10 years and had long intended to wait until marriage equality came to our state, but as we moved into our 50s we realized that time was still a long way off. Then Dante was in an automobile accident and our experience at the hospital put things into perspective. You can read all the details in an article I wrote after the wedding.
RR: How were you notified that your marriage was being contested and how did you react? MRW: We received a letter from the D.C. marriage bureau 6 weeks after receiving our marriage certificate. It was the day before Thanksgiving and it was devastating to us both. After so many legal analysts agreed we had found a loophole, they closed it and annulled our marriage without even attempting to contact us to confirm the “news” they read about was true. RR: When you placed the announcement in the paper, did you expect the response you got? MRW: Their 2003 policy still in affect allowed same sex couples to place engagement and anniversary announcements. It also allowed couples to place commitment announcements, which were seen as very progressive back at the time of their policy change. This change occurred before same sex marriage was legal anywhere. We fully expected them to place our wedding announcement because of their policy on engagement and anniversary ads. How could they allow those ads and not allow the announcement of the event itself? We assumed they would just update their policy again as Texas gay couples can get married elsewhere. RR: How did it feel when you were vindicated and the ruling came down in your favor with the paper? MRW: We were encouraged that the city agreed there was a possible case of discrimination when they launched the formal investigation. Once the Dallas Morning News responded via their legal team and had no interest in mediation, we directly reached out the CEO and asked for a meeting to try and work out this issue. We met with them twice and at the second meeting they agreed to make a change to their policy because as the CEO stated, “it was the right thing to do.” RR: Why does anti-lgbt discrimination exist in 2011 and what is the basis for it? How might anyone reading this help use move forward? MRW: Certainly religion has played a large role in the hatred felt by many toward our community as it has for other minority groups such as African Americans. Insecure people often fear the “unknown” and enjoy having a sense of power over people. Many homophobic people are also very insecure with their own sexual identity and express their hatred about gay people so others won’t think they are gay themselves. Thankfully, attitudes toward gay people are changing because so many people have come out of their closets and shared their true lives with their friends and families. The number one motivator for us to fight the Dallas Morning News was how it important it is for people to read stories about loving committed same-sex couples. We know that when people see that we are really no different than other committed couples, their attitudes will often change about gay people. We also wanted gay youth be able to see that marriage is possible and it might give them hope for their future.
RR: Projecting positively in the future, when do you think Texas will pass same-sex marriage, and if elected for a second term, do you think Obama should AND/OR would lead to overturn DOMA (the federal Defense of Marriage Act)? MRW: I believe marriage equality will come to Texas via a Supreme Court decision just as the Loving vs. Virginia case ended discrimination against inter-racial couples. If the Democrats take back the House and keep the Senate, we might have a shot of repealing DOMA if the Supreme Court hasn’t overturned it. DOMA is clearly unconstitutional now that a large population of citizens live in states where marriage equality exists. DOMA was passed in 1996 before same-sex marriages were legal anywhere in this country. RR: Why do you continue with this fight? MRW: We fight this fight because we don’t want the next generation to face discrimination and can live their lives to their fullest poten tial.
RR: With all your experience and vigor, what do you say to a new and young, say 21-year-old, member of the LGBT community…as far as what to expect and how to live, to make a difference? MRW: We would say to them to be very proud of who you are and believe in yourselves. We have come such a long way in forty years and we need you to join the battle for full equality. You have a wonderful life ahead of you because of those who have fought hard for the rights we won to date. Do not accept discrimination at any level and learn know that one person can make a difference and help change the world to make it a better place for everyone.]]> -
Closet can be costly for employers, too
From Bloomberg: This post was written with Karen Sumberg, a senior vice president at the Center for Work-Life Policy. Erika Karp vividly remembers the secrecy and subterfuge that colored every workday before she told her colleagues that she was a lesbian. “You have to devote a huge amount of psychic energy to being closeted — changing pronouns, switching names. I did that for years,” Karp recalls, all the while knowing that coming out could jeopardize her career in investment banking. “It was torture.” According to a 2009 Human Rights Campaign, more than half of LGBT employees are not “out” of the closet. Being in the closet is not just painful to individuals; it’s also an enormous talent drain for their employers. By not promoting and supporting an inclusive workplace, organizations whose workplace environments cause LGBTs to stay in the closet risk alienating and ultimately losing a critical tranche of talent. A new study by the Center for Work-Life Policy published in the July/August 2011 issue of Harvard Business Review quantifies just how high the cost is for both closeted LGBTs and their employers. Nearly one-third (31%) of LGBTs surveyed in the study live double lives — out to their family or friends, but closeted on the job. Being forced to stay in the closet — or feeling penalized by a disapproving or hostile environment once they do come out — puts their career ambitions at war with their ability to put their whole self behind those ambitions. Like Karp, LGBT employees expend an enormous amount of energy simply keeping their stories straight, leaving less for focusing on the work they need to do to advance. Forced to lie about their private lives, they are excluded from the collegiate banter about weekend outings and personal interests that forges bonds in the workplace. Continue reading]]>
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WeddingChannel.com expands LGBT organizations on its charity registry
Someone asked me over the weekend if Frank and I were going to register. I don’t know about that – it’s all so foreign to me – but WeddingChannel.com is getting ahead of the curve by adding several LGBT organizations to its charity registry program.
From MarketWatch:
LOS ANGELES, Jul 18, 2011 (BUSINESS WIRE) — In celebration of the Marriage Equality Act recently passed in New York and due to popular demand, WeddingChannel.com, the leading wedding and gift registry website, today announced the addition of Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) and Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) to the robust registry offerings in its Charity Donation Program, which already includes Lambda Legal and Human Rights Campaign Foundation. Now when same-sex and heterosexual couples register for retailers like Macy’s and Michael C. Fina through WeddingChannel.com, they can donate to their favorite organization working to achieve LGBT equality in one of two ways: WeddingChannel.com will make a donation to the couple’s charity of choice each time a guest uses WeddingChannel.com to purchase a gift through their registry search, or guests can donate directly to the charity as their wedding gift. “The addition of GLAAD, GLSEN and PFLAG to our Charity Donation Program further establishes WeddingChannel.com as the ultimate one-stop destination for couples and wedding guests to register for and donate to charities,” said Amy Eisinger, editor of WeddingChannel.com. “To honor this historic milestone and answer our audience’s demand, we’re thrilled to provide engaged couples with even more LGBT organizations that will continue the fight for marriage equality across the country.” ]]> -
LGBT consumers prefer brands that support equality
Not surprisingly, LGBT consumers prefer brands we’re aware of that support equality and diversity. It can also trump price, despite a tough economy.
From PR Newswire:
NEW YORK and WASHINGTON, July 18, 2011 /PRNewswire/ — Brand preferences and customer loyalty often are measured by marketers as the “holy grail” and as benchmarks of consumer behaviors. In a new poll released today, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) adults confirmed attitudes that strengthen their loyalty to companies as well as their brand preferences. The new national survey found that nearly three-fourths (74%) of LGBT adults are likely to consider brands that support nonprofits and/or causes that are important to them as a LGBT person, an increase from January 2007 when 62% reported they were likely to consider those brands. A significant portion of these adults, two-fifths (41%) say they are extremely likely or very likely to consider these brands. When it comes to workplace policies, nearly nine out of ten (87%) LGBT adults say they are likely to consider a brand that is known to provide equal workplace benefits for all of their employees, including gay and lesbian employees. More significantly perhaps, nearly half (49%) of LGBT adults say that they are extremely or very likely to consider these brands. This finding represents an increase from January 2007 when 78 percent reported they were likely to consider. By comparison, the survey also revealed that three out of four (75%) heterosexual adults agree they are likely to consider a brand that is known to provide equal workplace benefits for all of their employees, compared to 70% in January 2007. The new nationwide online survey of 2,357 U.S. adults, (ages 18 and over), of whom 328 self identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender, was conducted between June 13 and 20, 2011, by Harris Interactive, a global market research and consulting firm, in conjunction with Witeck-Combs Communications, Inc., a strategic public relations and marketing communications firm with special expertise in the LGBT market.
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Marine issues YouTube invite to Betty White for Marine Corps Ball
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Gay man elected to head Utah Democratic Party
I don’t use the qualifier “openly” unless it’s unavoidable – it’s time we do away with that if we expect equality. The bottom line is: we don’t identify people as gay unless they’re out. That said. . . this is nice to see in a state run by the Mormon Church.
From Lez Get Real:
Jim Dabakis is the new Democratic State Party Chairman for the state of Utah. He was elected in a statewide race, making him the first openly gay man elected in a statewide race, and he is one of the first few openly lesbian or gay Democratic Party Chairs nationwide.
According to Pride in Utah, though “Utah has seen two openly-gay Representatives in the State House. It has also seen an openly gay State Senator. But this is the first time an openly-LGBT person has been elected to an office by voters statewide, and it comes just 3 years after Prop 8.”
Dabakis stated “It’s an honor and a thrill [to be elected Chairman] of the State Democratic Party.” The campaign began five months ago, and Dabakis did not think then or now that his sexuality would be a factor. He stated “I don’t see it as a relevant factor. I am here to do a job and do it the best I can whether I’m gay, straight, black, white or purple.”]]> -
Think tank launches LGBT history course with focus on India
From Mid-Day:
A four month-old thinktank for gay and lesbian people has thought up a novel way to spread awareness about the Queer community in the country. MINGLE or Mission for Indian Gay & Lesbian Empowerment will soon launch a certificate course on LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bi-sexual Transgender) history, with a focus on India.
While the course material is still in the process of being compiled, the six month to one year-long free certificate course that is open to everyone, will have both, an offline and an online component. Registrations are currently open on the website, www.mingle.org.in.]]> -
Atlantic City offering more LGBT entertainment
We were just there a couple weeks ago. Given the city’s anemic health, I’m not sure this will help, but it’s good to see.
From Press of Atlantic City:
When the Brass Rail closed in 2007, Atlantic City was without a gay and lesbian bar or night club. By the end of this summer, the city will have four clubs and bars that will cater to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender community, including a rebirth of the Brass Rail.
The Brass Rail’s owners say their club on Mount Vernon Avenue could be open by the end of the month or early August.
And today, a new GLBT-friendly bar on Tennessee Avenue will have its soft opening, with a full opening to come within a few weeks. The bar, called Maloney’s Uptown Tavern, also is a rebirth of a club, this time of a sports bar that closed two years ago.
The renaissance of gay and lesbian bars and clubs comes at a time when casino and tourism marketers are looking toward the GLBT community as a niche market and trying to make their properties more inclusive, said Larry Sieg, president of the Greater Atlantic City GLBT Alliance.]]> -
New York county clerks prepare for same-sex marriage
One week from today.
From Auburn Pub.com:
With same-sex marriage set to become legal in New York a week from today, city and town clerks in Cayuga County are preparing for the changes that come with the new law.
The Marriage Equality Act was passed by the state Legislature and signed into law by Gov. Andrew Cuomo June 24. And with the law going into effect 30 days from that historic vote, the state Department of Health has been holding training sessions with clerks from around the state to outline the changes and review the new marriage license form.
Local city and town clerks have participated in these sessions. Sterling Town Clerk Lisa Cooper said the sessions were informative and provided an overview of the new forms.
The main goal of the changes is making the marriage license form gender neutral, according to state Department of Health spokesman Jeffrey Gordon. Instead of “bride” and “groom” titles on the form, the new marriage license form will say “bride/groom/spouse.” It also changes the “mother” and “father” titles on the form to “mother or parent” and “father or parent.”
Gordon said the training sessions with clerks discuss the amendments to the state’s Domestic Relations Law, when the new law takes effect, the waiting period for marriages and other aspects of the new law. Although the law goes into effect July 24, there is a 24-hour waiting period for all marriages in New York, so the earliest same-sex couples could have a marriage officially recognized is Monday, July 25. Couples could have the waiting period waived by a Supreme Court justice or a county court judge where one of the parties resides, according to the state Department of Health website.]]> -
Kjoy's Life in the Sr Lane: When babies had four legs
Kimberley “Kjoy” Ferren
It used to mean when you said in the lgbt community “I just love my baby,” you meant your cute, beautiful dog or cat. Children were of the four-legged kind, sometimes two-legged (birds and monkeys), and some even went to the exotic like reptiles and snakes. Whatever the non-human species was we loved them as if they were our children. Family for us has always come in all shapes, sizes and species.
Our loved ones, our pride-n-joys, have been special, BUT they pooped outside and drank and ate from bowls on the floor, though sometimes they had fancy houses or beds of their own. And even though we knew we’d have a wonderful time together as a family, outside of obedience school and vet bills there was never the need to set aside funds for a college education, bar mitzvah, quinceaneras, or wedding.
I have never been picky about who came to be part of my families. And although I’ve always been a sucker for the mutts, I did have one pure bred babe, Westie the West highland terrier. I got him in a pet store. I didn’t know what a puppy mills back then. For years now I’ve made up for this by fundraising for the SPCA and Human Society, so chill! All-in-all, I’ve love(d) each of them, but didn’t believe (nor could I afford), to over-the-top pamper them. No, they all lived good, solid suburban lives.
FACT: Life in our community up until the mid-1980’s was centered on our pets (and the occasional children from straight encounters). But that has changed now. Instead of pets from shelters, or kittens found under the house, or bought from reputable breeders, now suddenly actual “children” are constantly bursting forth from the loins of lesbians, turkey-bastered by gay-boys, or incubated in surrogates, or others adopted. The trend has turned from our “four-footed-friends” as our kids, to walking on a leash beside babies in four-wheeled strollers! This has not only changed what “family” means to lgbt’ers, but more animals now left in shelters (kidding!), AND also how we as a community spend our leisure time. It has changed our social paradigm.
A few years ago, Corinne and I went to the West Hollywood Pride Festival. In years past, we’d met up with our friends at a bar or on the grassy median. Once we’d all set-up our chairs for the parade, we’d rotate into the bar and drink, laughing loudly. Those who were single flirted with the lovelies, danced, then we’d pop out from time-to-time to see the parade-and womyn. THAT YEAR, 2009, was different. Instead of finding a group of wild womyn, we found those who we used to party with cooing at babies and toddlers, pushing four-wheeled strollers, and sitting on blankets without sports team logos on them, but Pooh Bear. The area was strewn with baby bags, formula bottles, and changing care supplies, and everyone was drinking (un-spiked) juice packets! And even more importantly, there WAS NOT ONE FOUR-LEGGED ANIMAL IN SITE! No. They no longer were the alpha love magnets, the “baby”, they were at home, relegated to the yard for disturbing the real baby. As we stood there trying to look interested, what knocked me in the gut was that, I sincerely felt the “breeders” we had all teased and protested against due to their hate of our lifestyles were now living amongst my lgbt’ers. Having children had successfully infiltrated the lgbt world and turned Santa Monica Boulevard into Sesame Street! At that moment amidst baby wipes all I could see was images of their mothers screaming in a birthing video. This wasn’t a child’s sandbox, but an adult’s playground day. I couldn’t see what our friends saw, so needless to say, after we kissed our friends and patted the babies on the head, we high-tailed it to the bar, then later the festival and had a great time. All our friends left early for nappy time. Today, although I still believe that we’ve assimilated a little too much sometimes, the truth is that this whole procreating thing has become another progression of the lgbt lifestyle. Like it or not, lesbians and surrogates having babies are here to stay. So for today Corinne and I absolutely IN-LOVE with our four-legged BABIES and are fully satisfied with filling their water bowls and buying them squeaky toys and treats, all the while signing petitions to allow ALL lgbt’ers the right to have the family of their choice. And being that we are SR’s, truthfully, taking the pups for walks is all we can handle most days!]]> -
Flying Solo: Charleston, SC
A Travelogue with Rick Rose It’s called Charles Towne (original name from 1670), the Holy City (because of all the churches there) and Antebellum Heaven (with all its painted lady architecture), and it’s known as a visitor’s mecca for those who love southern heat and hospitality. Charleston, SC is where I enjoyed an amazing July 4th with two dear friends from one of my former lives. I met Cindy and Randy when they opened a coffee house near Hannibal, MO some years ago, moving to that area from Alaska. On a cold winter morning at 6am, something both they and I are familiar with (being Wisconsin-bred), I met the duo as one of their first customers. I was en route to Studio H at WGEM where I co-hosted a two-hour morning show. They became quick friends and remain so after they eventually moved on to Charleston about the time I headed to a new home in Shreveport. They bring out the best in me: smiles, laughs, hopes, dreams, risk-taking and adventure. Having celebrated our independence on the day of our country’s, I encourage you to check out the things I discovered in this port city, anytime of year. Here are my top 10 sites to visit which were hand selected from the 25 Cindy and Randy shared with me! Charleston City Market – Open 365 days a year, it is full of great things to see and to buy. Visitors and locals mingle around Market Hall which stands facing Meeting Street as the main entrance to four blocks of open-air buildings where you will meet vendors selling paintings, pottery, spices, jewelry and Charleston’s famous sweetgrass baskets. Surrounding the Market are avenues of casual and fine dining restaurants and taverns! U. S. Customs House – A great representation of the history and architecture of this great city, you will want to take a lot of pictures of this building and its detail. It stands as a landmark in the beautiful Charleston Historic District. Its construction, which began in 1853, was halted six years later because of the costs and possibility of the state’s secession from the Union. After the War of the Statess, building restarted in 1870 for nine years until its completion. It has been on the National Register of Historical Places since 1974. You can casually stroll the streets of downtown where the Customs House lives or take an informational horse and carriage historic tour.
Bike Rentals at Vendue Inn – Another great way to get around the city, rent a bike. We did right at Venue Inn, one of the city’s many historic inns…and we rode all the way to the Battery at the tip of Charleston, another picture-perfect setting! In Charleston Harbor, you will be fascinated by everything from simple sailboats to huge barges, all part of the rich maritime history here. I strongly suggest at least a one-night stay at the Vendue. It’s southern hospitality at its best. Waterfront Park – A wonderful place to stroll and sip coffee as we did. Tried as we might, we were not able to find a coffee that beat the kind Randy and Cindy served back home. I mean have you ever heard of air-roasted Alaskan coffee? I hadn’t until I met this dynamic duo. Calhoun Mansion – One of hundreds of incredible historic residences, this Mansion is located at 16 Meeting Street. It is one of dozens that can be toured. After viewing its internal splendor and incredible grounds, we enjoyed walking up and down Meeting Street and the streets that ran parallel and perpendicular to it. Wherever you go, you will be amazed by the wonderful styles and colors represented in these buildings. You may even get the bug to buy one as many are for sale! Philadelphia Alley and Queen Street – These are two of my favorite places by far in this quaint city steeped in spirits and history. There are many guided walks available, but we enjoyed doing it alone. Cindy is spiritually connected for sure, so I enjoyed just playing with her as we listened to what our “unseen friends” told us about their former haunts. You can check out a tour or better yet, just befriend a local, and they will happily share their stories. Fort Moultrie – This early fort on Sullivan’s Island was still incomplete when Commodore Sir Peter Parker and nine warships attacked it on June 28, 1776, days before our Independence. After a nine-hour battle, the ships were forced to retire. Charleston was saved from British occupation, and the fort was named in honor of its commander, Colonel. William Moultrie. Today Fort Moultrie has been restored to portray the major periods of its history. For us, it provided the perfect backdrop to start our Independence Day Celebration! Sullivan’s Island and Beach –Just north of Charleston, you will discover one of the best beaches out there, anywhere. We spent much of our Fourth of July morning, spread out on colorful towels, smiling at passerbys, and dipping our toes in the sea several times to cool down. When you visit, be sure to see the Sullivan’s Island Lighthouse! Downtown Historic Summerville – I asked to celebrate midday Independence day in a place the symbolized Americana, and my friends delivered. We drove a bit outside of Charleston proper to the inclusive community known as Summerville. Progressive, yet steeped in its past, you too will love the spiritedness of this town. Their smoking ban started just a week after the fourth, so you can visit restaurants and bars in comfort, something still not real revered in southern cities.
http://www.summerville.sc.us/ Charleston Harbor – Evening fireworks were enjoyed by thralls including the three of us as they went off over expansive Charleston Harbor. We saw the display set against a silhouette of a burned out bridge that formerly connected Mt. Pleasant to Sullivan’s Island in the 1800’s. It was the perfect finish to a perfect trip. Whether you make it for a future Fourth of July celebration or not, when you do come, check out Charleston Harbor Tours which is the oldest continually operating harbor sightseeing tour company in Charleston, tracing back to 1908. Hop aboard the Carolina Belle and cruise by the Civil War’s historic Fort Sumter, Patriot’s Point, the Battery, and Saint Michael’s Episcopal Church Steeple. You’ll also cruise under the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge. http://charlestonharbortours.com/ Oh, I’d be remiss if I didn’t let you know that Charleston has an active evening LGBT scene and a friendly, welcoming community, en par with the overall community in this southern gem. Take in a drag show at Club Pantheon which has amazing dirty martinis! Next stop: Savannah, GA where I met up with my longtime friend, Susan, with whom I worked off-Broadway. Sue still lives in the metro NYC area where she has advanced to being a super-talented Broadway scenic artist. Her passion however lies in restoring her historic home in Savannah where we spent a few days catching up and traveling across her great second city. Check out the next Travelicious! Travel deliciously, Rick]]> -
Mark's Cafe Moi: Remembering compassion in the ex-gay storm
I’ve never wanted to not be gay. Being same-sex attracted was something I was aware of at a very young age, and something I did not question in the slightest until I was older and realized that a great many people – essentially the entire culture I was living in then – considered it unacceptable. In that way I think I was fortunate. Like most children, what I experienced as natural was, well, natural. It was the opinions and beliefs of others that caused conflict, not my own self-awareness.
I’ve been many things in my life, but tortured about my sexual orientation is not one of them. Nonetheless, there are many people in the world who, mostly from the same experience of living in cultures that claim there is something wrong or immoral about us, struggle with themselves. It’s important that we retain compassion for them. It’s come to mind for me as I watch the recycling of the ex-gay phenomenon in the media regarding Michele Bachmann and her husband.
While it’s one thing to sneer at those who run these programs, some of whom are clearly taking advantage of troubled people, it’s not acceptable to include in our mockery the people who turn to these organizations. This isn’t something I see brought up much. It’s mostly howling about the absurdity (and the cruelty) of pushing the idea that anyone can change their sexual orientation through prayer or “reparative therapy,” or anything else.
I’m also reminded of two men I knew in the early 1980s. One ran a gay recovery house for alcoholism and substance abuse in Los Angeles, another was a man I knew who came to the house often. Both of them decided, for reasons of their own, to marry women and have children, after years of living as openly and, as far as I know, self-accepting gay men. It is very important that I accept their decisions, then and now. They were not tortured, they were not trying to gain salvation from some gay-occupied hell. They were fine men who made choices I would not make and they saw them through.
Compassion is not so much something we give as something we are. It is not piety. It is not surplus. It is a quiet realization that we are all truly the same. It’s a mark I often fall short of, but as I see once again the dustup over ex-gay therapy, ex-gay therapists, and the proponents of what amounts to spiritual charlatanism, I must remember that the people who matter most in this are the ones in emotional turmoil looking for peace. I hope they find it, each and every one, whether it takes a form pleasing to me or not.]]>