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One Thing or Another: I Was Telling Me Just the Other Day …
One Thing or Another is a lighthearted look at aging, life, and the absurdities of it all.
By Mark McNease
It’s been a little alarming to observe myself in conversation with me more openly and regularly these days. What I’d once considered a trait of people who meander sidewalks aimlessly or decline to take medication, I now see as a sign I’m either not quite right, or I’ve lost the ability to keep my inner dialogue private—just between the two of me, so to speak.
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One Thing or Another: Learning to Live with the Typos in Life
One Thing or Another is a lighthearted look at aging, life, and the absurdities of it all.
By Mark McNease
I was reading something I’d written recently and noticed a typo. My first reaction was anger and embarrassment. Alone at my desk at sunrise, I looked around to make sure no one could see my crime—so strong is the shame and so universal the condemnation of typographical errors. How could I possibly have not seen my mistake before I put it out there for everyone to ridicule and use as proof that I don’t care or, worse, that I’m unprofessional?
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One Thing or Another: A Word On Forgetting, Before I Forget
One Thing or Another is a lighthearted look at aging, life, and the absurdities of it all.
By Mark McNease
You’ve had this conversation before, probably recently: Your co-worker, family member or friend asks you some variation of the question, “Did you wash my bowl in the sink?” (Or, did you take my pen, my keys, my cell phone, or some other object I swear had been where it is not now.) Even more alarming, you may be the one initiating this exchange and unable to remember something you’d done just ten minutes ago. If you’re forty, you probably dismiss it as a consequence of distraction. If you’re fifty, you shrug it off as forgetfulness. But if you’re fifty-six (my age), or older, you hear the little voice in your head whispering, “Early onset! Early onset!”
You don’t know exactly what is hitting you earlier than expected, but you’re convinced this is the beginning of the end of your ability to remember anything. You head to the drugstore for a bottle of Gingko Biloba, which you will forget to take. You look online for various illnesses that affect memory, wondering if any of them is the cause of your not remembering washing that bowl (with special dread reserved for Alzheimer’s). You take up crossword puzzles or Sudoku. You leave sticky notes to remind yourself of anything more significant than a trip to the bathroom, and you pray it’s a temporary lapse because the alternative is terrifying.
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6 Questions for Author Joe Cosentino
One of the great pleasures of doing this website the last four years has been the opportunity to interview and get to know so many wonderful people – activists, advocates, artists, fellow travelers, and authors. Joe Cosentino is one of them, a terrific spirit, engaging personality and, judging from his output, indefatigable writer. His newest book, Drama Queen (A Nicky and Noah Mystery) is just out from Lethe Press and combines high drama with high humor, a delicious combination. (You can read more about the book as a Featured Book at lgbtSr here.) I asked Joe ‘6 Questions’ and he found the time to answer them. I’ll also be speaking with Joe again on an upcoming Live Mic with Mark podcast in July.MM: Joe, welcome back to lgbtSr. When last we spoke, your new Nicky and Noah mystery series was set to come out in the summer, and here we are! Thanks for answering ‘6 Questions.’ Let’s backtrack a little. The first time we talked, your book, An Infatuation, had just come out from Dreamspinner Press. How has that done and what’s the reaction been?
JC: I am so touched by all the readers who told me they laughed and cried reading An Infatuation, and begged for a sequel. Readers fell in love with Harold and Mario, which thrills me. The ebook novella was released by Dreamspinner Press in February, and it is still selling well. While there isn’t a sequel per se, I have another MM Bittersweet Dreams ebook novella releasing from Dreamspinner Press in the fall. It’s another remembrance piece entitled, A Shooting Star. Like the Nicky and Noah mystery series, it takes place in a college theatre department, however, this college is in Colorado. Also, two minor characters from An Infatuation have large roles in the novel I am currently writing, Cozzi Cove: Bouncing Back.MM: You also have Paper Doll (A Jana Lane Mystery) out from Whiskey Creek Press, as well as several novellas. You’re very prolific. What sort of writing routine do you keep?
JC: I’ve written two more novels in the Jana Lane series: Porcelain Doll and Satin Doll, awaiting publication. As you know, in Paper Doll (book one), ex-child star Jana Lane has to uncover who attacked her on the studio lot at eighteen and who is attacking her twenty years later. In Porcelain Doll, Jana makes a comeback film and solves the murders onset. In Satin Doll, Jana travels to Washington DC and becomes involved in a political murder mystery.
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6 Questions for Author Maurice W. Dorsey, PhD
Author Maurice W. Dorsey was recently nominated for a QBR Wheatley Book Award for Businessman First, his biography of Henry G. Parks, Jr.
I had the pleasure of meeting Maurice at this year’s Rainbow Book Fair – and now the double pleasure of asking him ‘6 Questions.’ His book, Businessman First, tells the story of Henry G. Parks, Jr., a successful African American businessman. Maurice was as nice and engaging as his book is fascinating – a story that both needed to be told, and that Maurice promised to tell. He has, in spectacular fashion.
MM: Congratulations on being nominated for a QBR Wheatley Book Award. Can you describe those awards and how you came to be nominated?MWD: QBR The Black Book Review, the Harlem Book Fair are partnered by the Columbia University, the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, the New York Public Library, Literacy Partners, Inc. and C-Span Book TV. The Harlem Book Festival is the largest and most respected African American literary festival. I was recommended by a friend in Washington, DC.
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6 Questions for Olivia Hart, Her Excellency, Royal Countess de Orenburg
Frank, Olivia and Ophelia By Rick Rose
I recently read about Beautiful By Night, James Hosking’s documentary in which he invites the audience into the lives of three older drag performers at Aunt Charlies, a legendary venue in San Francisco’s Tenderloin. Olivia Hart was one of those three veteran performers in what some consider a disappearing art form. You wouldn’t know it from talking to Olivia. I had the pleasure of asking her ‘6 Questions,’ which she graciously answered. – Rick
Miss Olivia Hart
Her Excellency, Royal Countess de Orenburg
“From the Heart, Through the Court, For the Community” -
6 Questions for Lady Ellen, Founder of Le Femme Finishing School
Last week I shared a recent Aged to Perfection podcast with Lady Ellen, founder of Le Femme Finishing School in New Jersey, the only one of its kind in the state. Talking to Ellen, I quickly realized the deep value of what she offers her clients: a space to be themselves, to explore their identities, express their spirits and use their experiences with Ellen to emerge from the chrysalis into themselves. Following are six additional questions for her about the School, her clients and her mission.MM: What is some of the most common guidance your clients are looking for?
LE: Most clients want to see what they would look like as a female, want to know if they can “pass” in public and wish to learn makeup application techniques. I teach my clients what they would have learned from the women in their lives if they had been raised as a woman. I offer lessons in makeup, deportment, movement, image and style and constantly tell them to keep their knees together when wearing a skirt. That is why clients come to me, but often they thank me the most for lending them a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, an understanding heart that makes them feel accepted. I give a lot of advice about accepting one’s self and going forward with confidence and courage. Liking what they see in the mirror helps build that confidence and positive self image.
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Multimedia and LGBT Visionary Jeffrey Marsh Joins the Aged to Perfection Podcast
What better way to start the New Year off than a chat with Jeffrey Marsh? Jeffrey exploded on Vine with his short, intensely inspirational videos about being yourself and celebrating who you are, and his #DontSayThatsSoGay campaign. Seen as both an example and a lifeline by many people who feel different in a world that often doesn’t accept differences, Jeffrey talked with us about self-acceptance, happiness, joy, and making your own space in the world.Co-hosts Mark McNease and Rick Rose had the pleasure of speaking with Jeffrey just before the holidays and we think you’ll find him as encouraging, generous and supportive of everyone’s unique expression as we did.
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Dutch military to march in Pride parade for first time
Lesbian and gay service members have served openly in the Dutch military since 1974. I guess you could say they were ahead of the curve.
From AJC.com:
AMSTERDAM — Embracing a policy of “Do Tell,” the Dutch military is joining Amsterdam’s annual Gay Pride parade for the first time this year, with uniformed men and women saluting the crowds from a boat chugging through the city’s canals.
Unlike the United States military, gays have openly served in Dutch units since 1974, and have had a department within the Defense Ministry minding their interests for 25 years.
Former U.S. Army Lt. Dan Choi, who was discharged in 2010 after violating the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, is a guest on the float.]]> -
Mark's Cafe Moi: Ghosts that sell memories
I don’t know where that line comes from, “Ghosts that sell memories.” A song, I think, or at least a song whose lyrics I vaguely remember.
I came across a letter Larry Kramer wrote to Randy Shilts (via The Petrelis Files, via Andrew Sullivan) in which Kramer tells Shilts that he’s going to Los Angeles to see a production of “The Normal Heart” starring Richard Dreyfuss. I saw that production. I was there to review the play for EDGE, a long-defunct gay newspaper I wrote stories and reviews for. My late partner Jim was with me. He died in 1991, spending the last three days of his life comatose in a hospice. Prior to the very end he’d been in a tight fetal position, but for some reason he relaxed that last day. A very kind nurse shaved him and combed his hair; he was looking good for the first time in many months, though he had always been handsome to me.
Jim will be dead 20 years this November. I very rarely encounter him in dreams – maybe once every five years – but the last week or so I’ve met him again after all this time. He seems content; his sense of humor is intact, he’s easygoing, and speaking with him now, there is none of the pain and fear that was such a thick, oppressive part of our days and nights.
So much has been written about the 30th anniversary of the AIDS plague (and I do prefer to call it a plague, as Kramer calls it; “epidemic” is both an understatement and a sanitization of its horror). It wasn’t that I wanted to throw in my two sentimental cents, just that I suddenly recalled, after reading Larry Kramer’s letter, sitting in a theater in 1985 with a man I would lose six years later. And those dreams so recent, and the peace I felt seeing him again.
I’ll be marrying Frank, my partner of nearly five years. Maybe Jim just wanted to give us his blessing. Ghosts that sell memories I’m happy to buy.]]> -
Washington State sees surge in gay couples outside Seattle
This seems to be a trend across the county, as same-sex couples no longer feel a need to concentrate in historically or predominantly gay neighborhoods.
From the Seattle Times:
Seattle’s Capitol Hill is still the center of gay life for this region. But increasingly, same-sex couples, especially those raising children, are choosing to live elsewhere — in places like West Seattle and suburbs like Lynnwood, Shoreline and Lake Forest Park.
New census data show that the number of gay and lesbian couples on pricey Capitol Hill barely budged over the last decade, growing only slightly for male couples and not at all for females.
The number of gay couples surged elsewhere: across the state, where it far outpaced general population growth — and in neighborhoods like West Seattle, where it grew 55 percent. In fact, West Seattle has become so popular among gays that some have started calling it Capitol Hill West.]]> -
Same-sex households rise dramatically in Illinois
From The Chicago Tribune:
The number of gay and lesbian households in Illinois jumped dramatically over the last decade, in part a reflection of societal changes that have made it easier for couples to be open about being in a same-sex relationship.
In Illinois, the number of same-sex households increased more than 40 percent, according to 2010 U.S. census data released Thursday. The numbers were up in Chicago but also in the suburbs: in Aurora there were 463 same-sex households, an 80 percent increase over 2010; in Oak Park, the number of female same-sex households grew by almost 65 percent.
“There has been a very sharp growth in acceptance,” said Richard Rykhus, who lives in Evanston with Carlos Briones and their 6-year-old son. “I do think there’s a correlation with these numbers when you look at how society now accepts same-sex couples and same-sex parent families. There were a lot of risks before. People now are evidently far more willing to identify that way.”
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Review: Merce Cunnhingham exhibit at the New Museum (NYC)
By Steve Barnes
Most of the New Museum is currently occupied by “Ostalgia,” a mammoth show in which more than fifty artists address the traces that Eastern Europe’s history (including both Communism and Nazism) has left on the artists currently working there. The show, while it has many interesting pieces, is overstuffed with works—including a room in which three different programs of short Polish films play simultaneously while two collections of videos run on an adjacent wall, making it hard to focus on any of them. While undeniably informative and provocative, the whole thing (which is up through September 25) can at times be a bit forbidding. A more stripped down, tightly focused undertaking might have made the exhibition’s point a little clearer.
But on the museum’s ground floor, just past the bookstore and tucked behind the snack bar (in a room that you don’t even have to pay museum admission to enter), is a model of simplicity and restraint, Charles Atlas’s “Joints Array.” This installation, which runs through August 28, consists of 23 monitors of varying sizes, on which videos showing the choreographer Merce Cunningham in action run in continuous loops. But, in keeping with the installation’s title, we never see all of Cunningham in any of the videos. One of them starts with an elbow bending, another focuses on a knee, while yet another takes the ankle as its central point.
In each video, the joint goes through a broad range of motions and possibilities, showing the human body’s nearly infinite range of movement—at least when that body belongs to a dancer as flexible and creative as Cunningham. We aren’t being told a story here; instead, we are encouraged to really look at the kind of movements we see every day. By just showing a knee or an ankle, those movements get pulled out of the context in which we are accustomed to seeing them. They cease to be average gestures and become choreography.
The same is true of the soundtrack that is played as the backdrop to the videos. Put together from ambient recordings made by John Cage, Cunningham’s life partner, they take a wide range of sounds that are part of our daily existence (wind, birds singing, traffic) and turn them into a subtle, evocative form of music. We don’t get melody, we get a compilation of different tones and textures that encourages us to reacquaint ourselves with the sounds of the world around us in a way that makes a perfect match with the stance that the videos take toward the body’s movements. The combination of sound and image results in something that feels like an abstract movie musical, one that keeps on plotlessly unfolding in an eternal present.
My advice for people viewing this installation would be to take your time. The feeling of what Atlas is up to here does not reveal itself in a 45-second pass through the room. You need to slow down, and unload some of the expectations you might have. The whole thing is about changing the way we look and listen, a process that does not happen right away. But if you manage to take “Joints Array” on its own terms, it will almost certainly reward the time you put into it. In addition, the timing of this installation could not be better. It happens just as the Merce Cunningham Dance Company’s “Legacy Tour,” launched in February 2010, enters its home stretch. The tour was conceived as way to give audiences one final chance to see Cunningham’s dances, performed by the company he personally trained before his death in July 2009. It included the two-day “Merce Fair” that took place at Lincoln Center last month, and will make two more stops in the New York area before winding up with six performances at the Park Avenue Armory from December 29-31. The tickets for those performances, after which the company will disband for good, are sure to be one the biggest bargains of any New York cultural season—Cunningham stipulated in his Legacy Plan that they go for only $10 each. They go on sale on August 15. (For more information, go to armorypark.org. The other two New York stops are from September 9-11 at Bard College’s Fisher Center in Annandale on Hudson and a December 7-10 run as part of the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Next Wave festival (http://www.bam.org/view.aspx?pid=3066). The BAM run includes the wonderful Roaratorio, Cunningham and Cage’s playful take on James Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake. After the Merce Cunningham Dance Company ceases operations, the many videos Atlas has made showing Cunningham and his company at work will allow his dances and his highly original take on human movement to live on. One way to get some insight into Cunningham’s methods is through the series of videos called “Monday with Merce” that can all be seen on the company’s Web site. And in the future there will be what Cunningham’s Legacy Plan refers to as “Dance Capsules,” digital packages that will include videos, sound recordings, production notes and a wealth of other material. Leave it to Merce Cunningham to continue pushing the envelope, even from beyond the grave. Steve Barnes is a freelance writer based in New York City. His work has appeared in such publications as ARTnews and the Wall Street Journal. ]]>
