By Rick Rose

Michael Fairman has been in the soap opera business for well over half his life. Our Rick Rose met Michael when Rick was a journalist for several soap magazines. Michael has seen his life and that of this great American institution change over those couple decades. From growing up in “small town Wisconsin” (like Rick), then moving to LA, from living in the closet to living out, from Lucci winning the Emmy (finally) and ONE LIFE TO LIVE breaking the spell of canceled soaps by moving from network TV to the internet, Michael has informatively and humorously rolled with the changes on his daily website called Michael Fairman On-Air On-Soaps (www.michaelfairmansoaps.com). Here he candidly tells lgbtSr all! RR: How, why and when did you start your website? Did it grow with hits fast or take time? MF: I started SoapCity.com for Sony Pictures Digital Entertainment in 1997. It was the first online portal for soaps ever. With this, I could bring all my talents together to connect worldwide fans closer to their stars. I have this insane knowledge of daytime and was able to parlay it into this successful model. In 2001, when the higher-ups wanted to make money off the site with $1.99 downloads of episodes, it was like watching your baby changing into someone else. I stepped away and went into producing and writing TV. In 2008, I wanted to create my own web platform with my own brand. In 2009, I did a 100% overhaul of that site which is what you see today. Coming back into it, (after so many years away) I saw how online had blossomed, but of course with that came a lot of online soap site competitors which made me want to make my video, interviews and presentation be very modern to stand out from the bad wrap of a soap’s traditional “grandma” feel. It launched with a big benefit for AIDS Walk Los Angeles as I have always believed in the social responsibility of the soap genre. We have increased traffic and hits by 100% in the last year. RR: Why your ongoing fascination with soaps and hasn’t the passion for them dwindled in general over the years? MF: Ricky Paul Goldin, Emmy-nominated again this year for his lead role on ALL MY CHILDREN which was recently canceled just asked me that same question, Rick. He commented that I have never abandoned my soap friends. I believe that you have to follow your heart and your passion even though it may not always seem to be the right decision at times. Look, it is human nature to be fascinated by doom and gloom. So while soaps seem to be dying due to lack of interest, their cancelations have conversely made folks want to look online and see where the genre is headed. My relationship with the actors and fans who I love has been for 23 years. Is it time for me to move on? It is a tough call. RR: The Michael who first started watching soaps as a young boy in Wisconsin vs. the Michael today living in Los Angeles…what was life like then vs. now? MF: As a kid I had huge dreams and aspirations. I wanted to leave Wisconsin really bad and pursue a career in acting and singing in NYC or Hollywood. I knew I didn’t fit in with where I was from at a very young age. Now, having lived a full fifty years, the spirit is still there, but what is real isn’t exactly what I dreamed. You get kicked down, you get up again. You must persevere. At times I questioned whether or not I was strong enough to handle it all. Then I look at it and see how much I have survived, and realized, I am strong and a survivor to boot! I have handled a lot of issues and kept on going. As an older gay man living in WEHO (West Hollywood, CA), I am surprised as I never thought I would be living in the Mecca for our gay community, in the thick of it. When I was in my 20s and 30s it was about my looks, something that is true for gay men in LA. It is superficial. I have always been out in a large city, so there has always been that “high school” pressure. I feel that the Gay community is often harder on itself and I wish we were more supportive of one another. And now at 50, I am looked at differently, as a Daddy. It drives me up a wall. (Laughs)
RR: Are the situations one faces growing up in a city in Wisconsin the same as those we see on air in a soap city like Genoa City on THE YOUNG AND RESTLESS which is also set in Wisconsin? MF: No. Where is the poor family on Y&R? Where is the character from the inner city of Milwaukee? Soap people are all beautiful and no one works at a brewery. (Laughs) Soaps are too glamorous for what it is really like out in America. But every soap at its center, and why it relates to people from the South to West to Midwest, is that it is about core family relationships, bringing kids up, falling apart, losing loved ones…it is an amped up version of what we may experience in Anywhere, USA on a daily basis. That was the successful formula of soaps for years. We could relate, and we could watch as a family….it became an extended family for many viewers. My moral values and the people I meet from the Midwest are salt of the earth. I get along best with them. Generally there is something to be said about moral values and backbones. They know what is right and wrong. You don’t find that in other parts of the country, and not always on soaps either. (Laughs)

RR: ONE LIFE TO LIVE and ALL MY CHILDREN are perfect examples of a recent slew of soaps that have been canceled. Why? Have they stayed current and real? MF: This didn’t just happen overnight. It is a domino effect. Networks have made decisions years ago which are making a difference today. When televising the OJ trial, the public fascination with that came into play. Now, TV executives see they can create a similar sensation at 40% less of the cost with reality/makeover shows in the daypart, or at least they think they can. Before that back in the 80s and 90s, they would use the large soap revenues and pour them into primetime shows. Coupled with that is the internal disappointment that soap producers and designers never really modernized the look and feel. GUIDING LIGHT tried to do this too late in the game with almost all location shooting yet they had no budget. It was too late for America’s oldest soap/TV series. Right now, OLTL is on a creative high. It has been riveting for months. It is number 3 in the ratings! On AMC, the results of bringing in its creator Agnes Nixon to fix the big mistakes from recent years of bad writing is just showing on-screen now. The decision to wipe out both shows at the same time is shocking. To put on two reality/ talk shows at once as replacements is crazy versus trying one to see how it does. ABC tried to breathe new life into an older art form with creative marketing campaigns but some of the audience was already gone. SOAP OPERA DIGEST may go out of circulation next year, but its numbers were dwindling for years. No one saw this? RR: An Entertainment Media/ internet company, Prospect Park, has signed licensing agreements with ABC to carry OLTL and AMC on the internet. As an expert in these two areas (web and soaps), will they succeed and will a new era for soap operas begin? MF: Rick, I wish I could tell you the answer. I am seeing positive things happening very fast. There are a lot of discussions happening, but it is shrouded in secrecy because of negotiations. The networks, the shows and the actors are all interested and excited, but when it comes down to it, it is all about how will they make money and will they be protected by their specific unions. Prospect Park is coming in as a player with a lot of cash and capital, so that brings hopes. Some variables that could make it problematic though are: What is the production model? They are saying they want the shows to be the same length and quality and have the same cast and studios. But will viewers watch on line for that long? They should. How will the budgets change? Can they afford the high salaries of veterans like Susan Lucci and Erika Slezak to allow them to move from TV to internet? And above all, will fans be okay with video on demand and subscription? In other words, will the soaps be sponsor driven with advertising or will the fans pay for them. It is all very interesting and fast paced right now. RR: DAYS OF OUR LIVES has shaken things recently by replacing its executive producers and headwriters, resolving to tell contemporary stories using characters who viewers have loved from years ago, steeped in tradition. The gay love story between Sonny and Will being the first story to launch and the first same sex story since DAYS inception in the mid 1960’s. Is this working? Is that story real? MF: They had to make the shift. It was at the bottom of the ratings. It lost 350,000 viewers in a matter of months. The stories were clearly off kilter. DAYS fans are diehard; the most loyal out there. They want to see their beloved favorites but yet get excited about fresh stories and characters. Fans are often fickle. They complain when certain characters are on air, then complain when they are off. DAYS cut its budgets to survive and canned Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn. Now they are both coming back as Marlena and John. But how long will they stay? As far as the gay storyline on DAYS it is just getting started. It is great because Sonny is the son of long time fan favorites Justin and Adrienne and Sonny has been gay from the getgo, so thank God it is not another coming out story. We have seen that a hundred times. And longtime favorite Sami’s son Will is who we are hearing will be the love interest for Sonny. We need to see more normal, everyday stories for LGBT characters. Why doesn’t THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL have a gay character? After all it is set in the fashion industry. There are fan bases for the gay couples that exist on daytime, yet this is an oxymoron still today. When I interviewed Y&R’s headwriter, Maria Arena Bell for PRIDE MAGAZINE she shared that people wrote and said, “We have no problem with gay characters, we just don’t want to see them on our show.” Maria said, “So what do I do as a headwriter with that? But, I would love to tell a gay story that is character driven and makes sense for our canvas.” Sadly, a few years ago, there were five gay stories on soaps, now there will be only one when AMC leaves the airwaves, and that will be on DAYS. The internet will allow us to explore and show more. Crystal Chappell’s LGBT themed web series, VENICE, regularly had lesbian characters kissing and in bed. So far, there aren’t the broadcast standards to uphold, which is great! It’s about time everybody got on the bandwagon because the TV and web convergence is here. RR: Then why haven’t we seen modern world conveniences like Grindr and Scruff enter into storylines making them more real? MF: App’s like these are so popular and so branded, and are used for dating and sex hook-ups more than any other outlet now. There are news stories that they are killing the “gay bar” as we know it. So sure, they will come into play as the “new soap” uses more product placement. Convergence is here…between TV and internet and soon between real world and reel world. It is finally all coming together. Social networking is all new territory to explore. Will these stories work? Do they work in our life, Rick? I don’t even have Gridnr, by the way, because I have a Blackberry! Unfortunately, once again, I can’t come to the party. If I get an iPhone, will my dating options be better? Would I have more fun? Does anyone date a fifty year old senior anymore? Ha! RR: How is your dating life? MF: It’s funny. When I do go out, it always comes down to the question of what one does for a living. They usually answer that they are an executive banker at Wells Fargo. Or recently, a date told me that he produced this show on CBS called CSI or something like that, and asked if I ever heard of it. Then it is my turn, and it is hard to explain what I do to begin with. So I simplify and say that I am a journalist for daytime drama who has my own website. “Ohhhhhhh,” they respond. Then dead silence, and I think back to high school, and all that I have done to keep in shape and be desirable at 50 and it all just slinks away on me at that moment. But, for those that don’t run, and do look at my website, they see how modern and legit it is, so that makes me feel good. There is hope! RR: So why aren’t you creating and producing the first majorly successful
internet soap, Michael? MF: I do know the platform, you are right; and I know the formula. When new actors or publicists, or show producers for the Daytime Emmys, and sometimes marketing outfits in the mainstream, come into the soap world, they always call Fairman! They don’t know the characters, the histories. They admittedly don’t know what works, what fans long for, and they feel safe and comfortable with me. It is both a unique and wonderful position to be in. I provide a voice for the fans and the actors which they can trust. It is that Midwestern integrity. I have never been a TMZ journalist, and the one time I did leak a secret, I got scolded so bad that I will never do that again. RR: So just one secret for our readers, please? MF: Well I do have vision. I do know the bigger picture. And I’m keenly watching what is going on here. Last month was our biggest to date….we had over 6 million hits on the site. Maybe the next step for Michael Fairman On-Air On-Soaps will be to do my own soap. I wonder if Andy Cohen at BRAVO who launched the REAL HOUSEWIVES series is single and uses Grindr? Now there is a gay man who really needs to be producing a soap. Do you know him? Let’s hook me up with him. A true soap on BRAVO or bravo.com? It’s time!]]>

By Rick Rose Editor’s note: Recently, lgbtSr’s Rick Rose wrote here about his experience with HIV/AIDS 30 years on. Knowing that I was born in Mississippi, and himself living in Louisiana, Rick asked his former co-host from their days on WGEM in Quincy, IL and now on-air with Mississippi Public Broadcasting, Karen Brown, who to talk to about AIDS in the South. Karen introduced Rick to Robin Webb, an inspiration behind A Brave New Day, whose mission is to provide education and services and to advocate for people faced with life-challenging illnesses and conditions. RR: There is power in the name of your organization. How did you choose A Brave New Day? RW: Our organization is built on two complimentary principles, one, that personal empowerment is key to survival when faced with any life-threatening disease or condition and two, that every moment of every day must be fully embraced. For most of us in A Brave New Day’s peer survivor community, life and death literally tugs at you every morning you wake. It takes courage to take a deep breath, dust yourself off, dust the past off, endure the pains, the struggles, and choose life. I chose a Native American branding for A Brave New Day, using as our original logo a brave on a horse under the first light of day. He is essentially naked, surrendered. He is bowing to the sun with his spear at his side, clearly intent on conquering the day not so much with alpha force, rather in a state of humility and awe. For anyone who faces profound daily life challenges (don’t we all?), that image says it all. RR: 30 years into AIDS, is it really a pandemic anymore? Do people still care? How do you keep education and awareness alive? RW: We are still seeing 56,000 new infections in the US alone every single year. That number has not decreased for the last decade. American attention spans are short, particularly around HIV. Furthermore, people have always wanted to box HIV, to say “it’s just a gay thing” or “it’s just a black thing” or “it’s just this group that gets it or that group that gets it.” How far can one be from the truth! The virus knows no color or gender or sexual preference. We try very hard to continue speaking to the media, to continue offering community trainings and to advocate both on the local and national levels. Most of us who do federal advocacy, especially in DC, find ourselves fighting harder and harder to just hang on to medical and support services that already exist, which seem destined to be cut in this current political climate. This is discouraging, since we need ten times what exists now, to fight this pandemic. And oh yes, it’s still a pandemic. There are nearly 40 million people living with HIV and or AIDS on this planet today. There is a death from AIDS every 9 minutes. RR: The gay man you were then (as HIV entered your world) vs. the gay man you are now (as a senior, technically)? RW: Same man, different day, not so much different gay. Life goes on. You have a choice to say things like, oh I’ll never get intimate again, I despise my sexuality because of this virus, if only this if only that, but HIV is such profound experience. It teaches you who you are in no uncertain terms. It terrifies its host; it forces truth out of us. I have matured through this experience of aging with a lethal virus in my body and my psyche, so yes, externally speaking, I would have had a profoundly different life if HIV had never come knocking. Funny thing, though. Gay remains gay. Gay is gay is gay. Thank God it’s not a whim that just goes away if life circumstances go all wrong or if your partner dies, like mine did, or if a virus comes along. So if there is a deadly virus inside me, there is also “gay” my body and “gay” in my psyche as well, and for me that is a beautiful thing, nothing could be more life affirming.
RR: What is the ONE key difference between “AIDS in the South” and AIDS in the rest of the United States?

RW: The ONE key difference is – are — those TWO S’es with a line drawn through each one. $$, ching, ching. The South has been shortchanged, in terms of federal dollars and in many cases, nearly 10 to 1, for a long time and yet the epidemic has moved to the South. Putting it another way, the 10,000 PLWHA in Mississippi do no look the same in the eyes of the federal government as 10,000 PLWHA living in cities like Chicago or San Francisco. Housing assistance for people whose lives have been shattered, social support services, even access to life-saving medications, all components of comprehensive care are severely challenged in the South. Why is this? Because the feds just don’t like Southerners? No. Because since the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, before HIV really hit the South as hard as it is hit today, major urban areas built local advocacy into their infrastructure. They fought for their own, rightfully so. I know, I was there, I was a New Yorker during the 80s and 90s. We fought hard for every pill, every life-saving support service we got. We got empowered. We “ACT-ed UP.” The South just needs to build its own advocacy community. Southerners need to get louder about HIV/AIDS.

RR: It is 2011, when will the walls of ignorance, fear and discrimination come down? RW: I can only answer that for myself. Those walls are already down. For society, probably never. History seems to send that message. However, it doesn’t mean we have to stop trying. Jesus said it all. Love one another. Buddha, Lao Tzu, Rumi, Muhammed, Mother Theresa, Ghandhi, Confucious, King, they all agree. We have to keep saying it, love one another. That’s the best we can do. RR: As a LGBT Sr. who will you support for US President 2012? RW: I’d like to see President Obama get re-elected. However, he must get tougher on HIV/AIDS. We felt such promise around HIV when he got elected, however, his track record ain’t so good. Yes, he inherited a national catastrophe and yes, he’s dealing with very stubborn, very dis-compassionate non-progressives. But we now have waiting lists for people needing life-saving medications, numbering over 8,500 Americans. Although most of the responsibility is that of individual states, and they haven’t done their job, the President has the power to step up to the plate and do something about making certain all Americans living with HIV have access to critical medications and stable housing. He loses my vote if he does nothing. RR: Share with me about one individual we have lost who would have the most impact on your mission today, if s/he were still alive.

RW: There are so many. Hundreds, in fact. That is no exaggeration. My dear friend Trey Mangum died just last month. I am beside myself. The cause of his death was a heart attack, at 37 years old, just having received his PhD. in Social Work. For several years he was Executive Director at Grace House here in Jackson, a transitional living facility for persons living with HIV and/or AIDS, then Trey became Director of Housing at NO AIDS Task Force in New Orleans. I can already feel the impact of not having Trey around. I miss his mentorship and his support for our organization. However, when someone like Trey leaves the planet so suddenly, with so little explanation, his legacy and post-life presence seem even more intense, so I always have that to keep moving forward. Trey is one reason we keep on forging ahead. The hundreds of others I have known and lost, all of them equally significant, are also reasons to keep marching on. RR: If AIDS ended tomorrow, what would your next life be? RW: An avid hiker in Zion Park, Utah, Canyonlands, Grand Canyon, Glacier National Park, Bryce, Capitol Reef, Yellowstone and Yosemite. Oh wait, I already do that. A world traveler, 77 countries, all 7 continents. Oh wait, I just did that, still doing it. A fierce voice for social evolution and justice. Oops been there, still doing that. Write songs, work-out, appreciate every day. Hmm, already claimed. Ah well, I guess I wouldn’t change a thing. (Antarctica was cold.)]]>

By Rick Rose Mark Reed-Walkup and his partner Dante Walkup made headlines for conducting their marriage ceremony via Skype with the couple in Texas and the minster in Washington, D.C. They were subsequently informed the marriage would not be honored, and had that disappointment compounded by the refusal of the Dallas Morning News to run their announcement. As it turned out, vindication was theirs, at least in part. Our own Rick Rose became friends with the couple through Mark’s niece Shanna. He caught up with Mark on the day their marriage announcement finally ran in the Dallas paper. Here they share their interview with you. RR: How did you first meet and did you know he was “the one” for you? MRW: I spotted Dante on the dance floor, dancing by himself, so full of life, self-confidence and thought he was the most handsome man in the world. We became best friends at first but on a trip to P-town together 11 years ago, we fell deeply in love and that trip changed our lives forever. RR: Was the thought of marriage even an option then? MRW: We never thought marriage would be an option in our lifetime. Same-sex marriage was not legal anywhere at that time. RR: At what point did you decide to marry? Who asked who and how? MRW: When we became partners, we created commitment vows that we would strive for in our relationship. One of those vows was to have “fun at fifty”, so when we turned 50, we decided it was time. I asked Dante to be my husband on a very romantic trip to New Orleans. RR: When was the first time you felt discrimination in your journey to marry and what emotions were evoked? MRW: We tried to submit our wedding announcement to the Dallas Morning News and were denied because of the ban on same-sex marriage in Texas. I had to go before a county judge to get a court-ordered name change because of the ban.. Discrimination has a very negative emotional impact every time you experience it. Its hurts, it’s degrading and it makes us both very angry at the way our community is mistreated and disrespected. RR: How and why did you decide to marry in Texas using a Washington, DC clergy? MRW: We’d been together for 10 years and had long intended to wait until marriage equality came to our state, but as we moved into our 50s we realized that time was still a long way off. Then Dante was in an automobile accident and our experience at the hospital put things into perspective. You can read all the details in an article I wrote after the wedding.
RR: How were you notified that your marriage was being contested and how did you react? MRW: We received a letter from the D.C. marriage bureau 6 weeks after receiving our marriage certificate. It was the day before Thanksgiving and it was devastating to us both. After so many legal analysts agreed we had found a loophole, they closed it and annulled our marriage without even attempting to contact us to confirm the “news” they read about was true. RR: When you placed the announcement in the paper, did you expect the response you got? MRW: Their 2003 policy still in affect allowed same sex couples to place engagement and anniversary announcements. It also allowed couples to place commitment announcements, which were seen as very progressive back at the time of their policy change. This change occurred before same sex marriage was legal anywhere. We fully expected them to place our wedding announcement because of their policy on engagement and anniversary ads. How could they allow those ads and not allow the announcement of the event itself? We assumed they would just update their policy again as Texas gay couples can get married elsewhere. RR: How did it feel when you were vindicated and the ruling came down in your favor with the paper? MRW: We were encouraged that the city agreed there was a possible case of discrimination when they launched the formal investigation. Once the Dallas Morning News responded via their legal team and had no interest in mediation, we directly reached out the CEO and asked for a meeting to try and work out this issue. We met with them twice and at the second meeting they agreed to make a change to their policy because as the CEO stated, “it was the right thing to do.” RR: Why does anti-lgbt discrimination exist in 2011 and what is the basis for it? How might anyone reading this help use move forward? MRW: Certainly religion has played a large role in the hatred felt by many toward our community as it has for other minority groups such as African Americans. Insecure people often fear the “unknown” and enjoy having a sense of power over people. Many homophobic people are also very insecure with their own sexual identity and express their hatred about gay people so others won’t think they are gay themselves. Thankfully, attitudes toward gay people are changing because so many people have come out of their closets and shared their true lives with their friends and families. The number one motivator for us to fight the Dallas Morning News was how it important it is for people to read stories about loving committed same-sex couples. We know that when people see that we are really no different than other committed couples, their attitudes will often change about gay people. We also wanted gay youth be able to see that marriage is possible and it might give them hope for their future.

RR: Projecting positively in the future, when do you think Texas will pass same-sex marriage, and if elected for a second term, do you think Obama should AND/OR would lead to overturn DOMA (the federal Defense of Marriage Act)? MRW: I believe marriage equality will come to Texas via a Supreme Court decision just as the Loving vs. Virginia case ended discrimination against inter-racial couples. If the Democrats take back the House and keep the Senate, we might have a shot of repealing DOMA if the Supreme Court hasn’t overturned it. DOMA is clearly unconstitutional now that a large population of citizens live in states where marriage equality exists. DOMA was passed in 1996 before same-sex marriages were legal anywhere in this country. RR: Why do you continue with this fight? MRW: We fight this fight because we don’t want the next generation to face discrimination and can live their lives to their fullest poten tial.

RR: With all your experience and vigor, what do you say to a new and young, say 21-year-old, member of the LGBT community…as far as what to expect and how to live, to make a difference? MRW: We would say to them to be very proud of who you are and believe in yourselves. We have come such a long way in forty years and we need you to join the battle for full equality. You have a wonderful life ahead of you because of those who have fought hard for the rights we won to date. Do not accept discrimination at any level and learn know that one person can make a difference and help change the world to make it a better place for everyone.]]>