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Flying Solo: Charleston, SC
A Travelogue with Rick Rose It’s called Charles Towne (original name from 1670), the Holy City (because of all the churches there) and Antebellum Heaven (with all its painted lady architecture), and it’s known as a visitor’s mecca for those who love southern heat and hospitality. Charleston, SC is where I enjoyed an amazing July 4th with two dear friends from one of my former lives. I met Cindy and Randy when they opened a coffee house near Hannibal, MO some years ago, moving to that area from Alaska. On a cold winter morning at 6am, something both they and I are familiar with (being Wisconsin-bred), I met the duo as one of their first customers. I was en route to Studio H at WGEM where I co-hosted a two-hour morning show. They became quick friends and remain so after they eventually moved on to Charleston about the time I headed to a new home in Shreveport. They bring out the best in me: smiles, laughs, hopes, dreams, risk-taking and adventure. Having celebrated our independence on the day of our country’s, I encourage you to check out the things I discovered in this port city, anytime of year. Here are my top 10 sites to visit which were hand selected from the 25 Cindy and Randy shared with me! Charleston City Market – Open 365 days a year, it is full of great things to see and to buy. Visitors and locals mingle around Market Hall which stands facing Meeting Street as the main entrance to four blocks of open-air buildings where you will meet vendors selling paintings, pottery, spices, jewelry and Charleston’s famous sweetgrass baskets. Surrounding the Market are avenues of casual and fine dining restaurants and taverns! U. S. Customs House – A great representation of the history and architecture of this great city, you will want to take a lot of pictures of this building and its detail. It stands as a landmark in the beautiful Charleston Historic District. Its construction, which began in 1853, was halted six years later because of the costs and possibility of the state’s secession from the Union. After the War of the Statess, building restarted in 1870 for nine years until its completion. It has been on the National Register of Historical Places since 1974. You can casually stroll the streets of downtown where the Customs House lives or take an informational horse and carriage historic tour.
Bike Rentals at Vendue Inn – Another great way to get around the city, rent a bike. We did right at Venue Inn, one of the city’s many historic inns…and we rode all the way to the Battery at the tip of Charleston, another picture-perfect setting! In Charleston Harbor, you will be fascinated by everything from simple sailboats to huge barges, all part of the rich maritime history here. I strongly suggest at least a one-night stay at the Vendue. It’s southern hospitality at its best. Waterfront Park – A wonderful place to stroll and sip coffee as we did. Tried as we might, we were not able to find a coffee that beat the kind Randy and Cindy served back home. I mean have you ever heard of air-roasted Alaskan coffee? I hadn’t until I met this dynamic duo. Calhoun Mansion – One of hundreds of incredible historic residences, this Mansion is located at 16 Meeting Street. It is one of dozens that can be toured. After viewing its internal splendor and incredible grounds, we enjoyed walking up and down Meeting Street and the streets that ran parallel and perpendicular to it. Wherever you go, you will be amazed by the wonderful styles and colors represented in these buildings. You may even get the bug to buy one as many are for sale! Philadelphia Alley and Queen Street – These are two of my favorite places by far in this quaint city steeped in spirits and history. There are many guided walks available, but we enjoyed doing it alone. Cindy is spiritually connected for sure, so I enjoyed just playing with her as we listened to what our “unseen friends” told us about their former haunts. You can check out a tour or better yet, just befriend a local, and they will happily share their stories. Fort Moultrie – This early fort on Sullivan’s Island was still incomplete when Commodore Sir Peter Parker and nine warships attacked it on June 28, 1776, days before our Independence. After a nine-hour battle, the ships were forced to retire. Charleston was saved from British occupation, and the fort was named in honor of its commander, Colonel. William Moultrie. Today Fort Moultrie has been restored to portray the major periods of its history. For us, it provided the perfect backdrop to start our Independence Day Celebration! Sullivan’s Island and Beach –Just north of Charleston, you will discover one of the best beaches out there, anywhere. We spent much of our Fourth of July morning, spread out on colorful towels, smiling at passerbys, and dipping our toes in the sea several times to cool down. When you visit, be sure to see the Sullivan’s Island Lighthouse! Downtown Historic Summerville – I asked to celebrate midday Independence day in a place the symbolized Americana, and my friends delivered. We drove a bit outside of Charleston proper to the inclusive community known as Summerville. Progressive, yet steeped in its past, you too will love the spiritedness of this town. Their smoking ban started just a week after the fourth, so you can visit restaurants and bars in comfort, something still not real revered in southern cities.
http://www.summerville.sc.us/ Charleston Harbor – Evening fireworks were enjoyed by thralls including the three of us as they went off over expansive Charleston Harbor. We saw the display set against a silhouette of a burned out bridge that formerly connected Mt. Pleasant to Sullivan’s Island in the 1800’s. It was the perfect finish to a perfect trip. Whether you make it for a future Fourth of July celebration or not, when you do come, check out Charleston Harbor Tours which is the oldest continually operating harbor sightseeing tour company in Charleston, tracing back to 1908. Hop aboard the Carolina Belle and cruise by the Civil War’s historic Fort Sumter, Patriot’s Point, the Battery, and Saint Michael’s Episcopal Church Steeple. You’ll also cruise under the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge. http://charlestonharbortours.com/ Oh, I’d be remiss if I didn’t let you know that Charleston has an active evening LGBT scene and a friendly, welcoming community, en par with the overall community in this southern gem. Take in a drag show at Club Pantheon which has amazing dirty martinis! Next stop: Savannah, GA where I met up with my longtime friend, Susan, with whom I worked off-Broadway. Sue still lives in the metro NYC area where she has advanced to being a super-talented Broadway scenic artist. Her passion however lies in restoring her historic home in Savannah where we spent a few days catching up and traveling across her great second city. Check out the next Travelicious! Travel deliciously, Rick]]> -
Mark's Cafe Moi: Remembering compassion in the ex-gay storm
I’ve never wanted to not be gay. Being same-sex attracted was something I was aware of at a very young age, and something I did not question in the slightest until I was older and realized that a great many people – essentially the entire culture I was living in then – considered it unacceptable. In that way I think I was fortunate. Like most children, what I experienced as natural was, well, natural. It was the opinions and beliefs of others that caused conflict, not my own self-awareness.
I’ve been many things in my life, but tortured about my sexual orientation is not one of them. Nonetheless, there are many people in the world who, mostly from the same experience of living in cultures that claim there is something wrong or immoral about us, struggle with themselves. It’s important that we retain compassion for them. It’s come to mind for me as I watch the recycling of the ex-gay phenomenon in the media regarding Michele Bachmann and her husband.
While it’s one thing to sneer at those who run these programs, some of whom are clearly taking advantage of troubled people, it’s not acceptable to include in our mockery the people who turn to these organizations. This isn’t something I see brought up much. It’s mostly howling about the absurdity (and the cruelty) of pushing the idea that anyone can change their sexual orientation through prayer or “reparative therapy,” or anything else.
I’m also reminded of two men I knew in the early 1980s. One ran a gay recovery house for alcoholism and substance abuse in Los Angeles, another was a man I knew who came to the house often. Both of them decided, for reasons of their own, to marry women and have children, after years of living as openly and, as far as I know, self-accepting gay men. It is very important that I accept their decisions, then and now. They were not tortured, they were not trying to gain salvation from some gay-occupied hell. They were fine men who made choices I would not make and they saw them through.
Compassion is not so much something we give as something we are. It is not piety. It is not surplus. It is a quiet realization that we are all truly the same. It’s a mark I often fall short of, but as I see once again the dustup over ex-gay therapy, ex-gay therapists, and the proponents of what amounts to spiritual charlatanism, I must remember that the people who matter most in this are the ones in emotional turmoil looking for peace. I hope they find it, each and every one, whether it takes a form pleasing to me or not.]]> -
New York judges lining up for history on a summer Sunday
Timing may not be everything, but it certainly mucks things up a lot. Frank and I are going to be at Rainbow Mountain in the Poconos next weekend (a trip that was booked a couple months ago). That Sunday, July 24, is marriage equality day in New York, and a number of judges are lining up to take part in history. You see, there’s a 24-hour waiting period in New York State from when you get the license to when you can have it signed. Only judges can override that. I’m so tempted to come home Saturday .
From the New York Times:
On a summer Sunday, Justice Thomas D. Raffaele of State Supreme Court in Queens would usually be in a bathing suit at the Jersey Shore. Instead, on July 24, the Sunday that New York’s same-sex marriage law goes into effect, he plans to be in his judicial robes at the city clerk’s office on Queens Boulevard, ready to marry people, possibly in large numbers. “I’ve heard there are a lot of people who are very excited,” he said. As one of several dozen judges across the state who have volunteered to play an official role in the new law’s first day, Justice Raffaele is part of one of the most unusual judicial mobilizations in years. From Buffalo to the Bronx and pretty much everywhere else in New York, judges are signing up for rare Sunday duty. If same-sex couples want to marry that Sunday, only judges would have the authority to dispense with the 24-hour waiting period required by law. And those judges could then officiate on the spot. Another of the volunteer judges, Sherry Klein Heitler of State Supreme Court in Manhattan, said she was expecting something of a party at the city clerk’s office. “I think there will be a lot of people,” Justice Heitler said. “I think there will be a lot of emotion. I think there will be a lot of happy tears.” In interviews, judges with a range of political perspectives said that for them, volunteering to work that day was public service. Judge Richard B. Meyer of Essex County Court in Elizabethtown, N.Y., said he felt an obligation to help any couple trying to take advantage of their newly minted right. “I think it’s important,” Judge Meyer said, “that people who have been waiting a long time to be married and who are anxious to do it have access to someone who is able to perform the ceremony on their time frame.” ]]> -
Arts review: two new shows from the Asia Society and the Kitchen
By Steve Barnes
Was New York ever really the edgiest city in the world? Two new shows make a case for it having deserved that title in the 1970s, ‘80s and early ‘90s. “Ai Weiwei: New York Photographs” (up at the Asia Society through August 14) and “The View from a Volcano: The Kitchen’s Soho Years 1971-85” (up at the Kitchen through August 27) show a city in political, artistic and sexual ferment—with a sense of energy and adventurousness that seems in rather short supply these days.
The anything-goes attitude at the Kitchen in its early days allowed for an amazingly wide range of performers and artists to show their works there. In the current exhibit, the walls of the Kitchen’s galleries are covered with flyers, photographs and program notes from many of the shows that served to define the whole idea of performance art. Audiences were presented with such offerings as “The Last Video Tapes of Marcel Duchamp” and “Harrisburg Mon Amour, or Two Boys on a Bus—played by Taylor Mead,” as well as groundbreaking works by choreographers such as Karole Armitage, Bill T. Jones and Arnie Zane.
The Kitchen saw itself as a challenger to the established art world, a trait made humorously clear in the program notes for “Dubbed in Glamour,” which starred the John Waters regular Cookie Mueller. (A photograph of the wonderfully surly Mueller hangs above those program notes on the gallery wall.) The show touted itself as being “an expose of the energies of Para-Soho luminaries, that part of the art world which never had a loft, is younger than the art world and hangs out in the clubs.”
Part of that youthful energy showed itself in the Kitchen’s adventurous music programming. The exhibit is dotted with video monitors that allow gallery goers to sample performances from Rhys Chatham, the Bush Tetras, and the very young Talking Heads. There’s also an “audio jukebox” at which works from many of the other musicians whose careers were nurtured at the Kitchen can be heard—Steve Reich, Sonic Youth, Pauline Oliveiros and Arthur Russell (who made a very interesting transition from art-music renegade to dance-club icon), just to name a few.
And last, but certainly not least, is the Kitchen’s central place in the birth of video art. Steina and Woody Vasulka, the Kitchen’s founders, were among the earliest video artists, and a monitor showing several of their works is at the exhibit’s entrance. (To get a rough idea of the kind of minimalist psychedelia they were up to, have at look at
http://www.vasulka.org/Videomasters/pages_stills/index_42.html. A room at the back features such central figures in video art’s history as Charles Atlas, Dara Birnbaum and Bill Viola. While the Kitchen was revolutionary in its way, its energies were contained on stages and gallery walls. “Ai Weiwei: New York Photographs” shows what happened when a group of Chinese expatriates met up with those energies as they were lived out on the street of New York City in the 1980s and ‘90s. Ai Weiwei has had a long career as a sculptor, installation artist and photographer, but his biggest claim to fame for many people stems from his recent political problems. A man always dedicated to thumbing his nose at authority (or giving it the finger, as he did in a series of photographs in which the “up yours” is delivered to such sites as the Eiffel Tower and the White House), he was detained by Chinese authorities on April 3. After a long and very public campaign for his release, he was let go on June 22. The Asia Society exhibit takes us to many of the iconic sites of New York sexual and social history. We go onstage with the drag queens at Wigstock, hit the streets with the participants in the Tompkins Square Park riots, and look into the eyes of some very nervous African-American cops patrolling a demonstration about the Tawana Brawley controversy. We also get intimate looks at such figures as Chen Kaige (director of the 1990s arthouse hit Farewell My Concubine), Allen Ginsburg, a very beautiful Bai Ling, and the communal life lived by a group of young Chinese artists as they tried to make ends meet. You also get a very strong sense of time passing in these pictures. Early on, we see a shot of Allen Ginsburg sitting in his apartment with filmmaker and musician Harry Smith. Close to the show’s end, Ginsburg shows up again, this time at Smith’s memorial service. The homeless people and stray dogs in abandoned buildings give way to people playing pool in a suburban basement and Bill Clinton stumping on the Lower East Side during the 1992 presidential campaign. And perhaps the most striking thing is what a good photographer Weiwei is. His eye for movement and composition is strong and very instinctual, giving even the most casual-seeming shots a lovely sense of balance. He even has the ability to turn sets of shots blown up from contact sheets into unified individual compositions. All in all, these two shows give a nice picture of a New York City in which there was really a community of outsiders—gays, straights, punkers, artist, writers. To look at them gives you a renewed sense that if this isn’t the edgiest city in the world any more, it certainly used to be. Steve Barnes is a freelance writer based in New York City. His work has appeared in such publications as ARTnews and the Wall Street Journal. ]]> -
Video urges CA Governor Jerry Brown to sign LGBT history bill
Update: The bill has been signed.]]>
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Increase in Minnesota same-sex couples could be deciding factor in election
Let’s hope so! Census figures show a rising number of same-sex couples in Minnesota, which could be a decisive factor in the 2012 election, especially as it pertains to the constitutional marriage amendment that’s been mounted by anti-equality forces there.
From MPR News:
St. Paul, Minn. — New census data showing the number of households occupied by same-sex couples rose by 50 percent in Minnesota over the last decade could have rippling effects as the state heads toward a constitutional vote on same-sex marriage in next year’s election.
People in almost 14,000 households throughout the state told the census last year that they were living with their unmarried same-sex partners. Gay and lesbian couples account for less than 1 percent of households across the state.
One such household was in the Longfellow neighborhood of south Minneapolis. Peter Sage is a teacher who lives with his partner of ten years, and their four year old son. “For us, it was about letting it be known that we are out there, hopefully in significant numbers,” Sage said. “I think 10 years ago, it would have been different. People would have been more hesitant.” Ten years ago was the first time the census counted gay couples. Same-sex marriage wasn’t legal in any state in 2000. Minnesota struck down its sodomy laws in 2001 and the federal government did so in 2003. When Americans filled out their census forms in 2010, same-sex marriage was legal in five states plus the District of Columbia, and constitutionally prohibited in 29 others. Minnesota is not either of those, but the question will be on the ballot in next year’s November elections.
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Column: Trans-Feelings
By Stephanie Mott
I started taking hormones in October, 2006. The first few weeks (after the first two weeks) were so full of feelings. Feelings I had suppressed forever, exploding like water bursting through a broken dam. Feelings I never experienced before, emerging like tender buds, exposing themselves to the sunlight, and offering a curious suggestion of the flowers preparing to blossom.
As time passed, I began to understand a little about what they meant to me, and about me. Each a tiny clue about who I’ve been, who I am, and who I might become. Each a veiled hint as to my dreams, my values, and my fears. Each revealing another secret, multi-dimensional puzzle piece of my soul.
The struggle of having brand new “fifteen-year-old” feelings as a “fifty-something” woman, yields itself to the amazing awakening to that which has always been. The sadness of not being the little girl, is lessened by the discovery of the woman. The truth cries. At its own inherent beauty. For the lost lifetime of illusion. And from the instant certainty that it can never again be taken away.
Still, new feelings reveal themselves from time to time. The most common, the most powerful, and the most amazing feelings are about love. I had no idea. For each of the parts of me, is a corresponding need. There are far more love feelings than I could have ever imagined. Here are just a few.
Maternal love. As I arrive home from grocery shopping, and the young man from next door is mowing my grass, and I am overwhelmed by the quite unexpected need to make him a sandwich and give him a glass of milk. As a young woman enters my life, looking for someone to help her find herself again, and looking to me.
A daughter’s love for her mother. Impossible. She died in 1989. But God gave me a new mom. And I am her daughter. Don’t tell me there isn’t a miracle happening here.
Sisterly love. The nuances of sorority are nothing like the “facts” of fraternity. I finally belong to the place where I am – no longer a “misfit in the land of lost toys”, as Toni, one of my many amazing new sisters, would say. Physical love. Sometimes I am near some guy and I get feelings in places I don’t even have yet! OMG. Romantic love. I place my comparatively small hand in his, and a different feeling of correctness travels throughout me. He becomes a part of every thought, as though I have become more, without losing me in the process. He compliments my womanhood, my personhood. To steal (and amend) a line from the movie, As Good As It Gets, he “makes me want to be a better woman.” As years have now gone by, I find that truly understanding my feelings is just another of the multitude of unsolved riddles of life, generally summed up in the one-word question, “Why?” And in its place, comes the understanding that time spent asking is time spent not living. And living is the gift. The spoils of war, as it were. The battle done. Now comes the feeling most pervasive to my existence, wholly unwilling to allow the battlefield to prepare for yet another victim. The struggles are senseless, in that they should never have happened. You will not swallow one more child as I stand silent. As you purposefully destroy soul after soul in some misguided quest to bring light to the darkness, you bring darkness to the light. Your path, from this moment forward, will be required to go through me – and millions like me – all of us feeling the same feelings. It is not anger. It is far more powerful than anger. It is truth. It is justice. It is equality. It is freedom. It is time. It has been said, “to feel is to be alive”. For some, when the feelings are ones of hopelessness, to feel is to die. The most memorable feelings of my life today are these. The feeling of realizing I was not alone – it was possible for me to transition. The feeling of seeing myself in the mirror. And the feeling of knowing I can make a difference. However, in the final analysis, nothing compares to the feeling of feeling without fear – the feeling of the freedom to be me. Stephanie’s columns can also be found at Liberty Press. Stephanie Mott is executive director of the Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project and a member of the Board of Directors at Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka She can be reached at stephanie.mott@k-step.org or stephaniem@mcctopeka.org ]]> -
Column: Trans-Feelings
By Stephanie Mott
I started taking hormones in October, 2006. The first few weeks (after the first two weeks) were so full of feelings. Feelings I had suppressed forever, exploding like water bursting through a broken dam. Feelings I never experienced before, emerging like tender buds, exposing themselves to the sunlight, and offering a curious suggestion of the flowers preparing to blossom.
As time passed, I began to understand a little about what they meant to me, and about me. Each a tiny clue about who I’ve been, who I am, and who I might become. Each a veiled hint as to my dreams, my values, and my fears. Each revealing another secret, multi-dimensional puzzle piece of my soul.
The struggle of having brand new “fifteen-year-old” feelings as a “fifty-something” woman, yields itself to the amazing awakening to that which has always been. The sadness of not being the little girl, is lessened by the discovery of the woman. The truth cries. At its own inherent beauty. For the lost lifetime of illusion. And from the instant certainty that it can never again be taken away.
Still, new feelings reveal themselves from time to time. The most common, the most powerful, and the most amazing feelings are about love. I had no idea. For each of the parts of me, is a corresponding need. There are far more love feelings than I could have ever imagined. Here are just a few.
Maternal love. As I arrive home from grocery shopping, and the young man from next door is mowing my grass, and I am overwhelmed by the quite unexpected need to make him a sandwich and give him a glass of milk. As a young woman enters my life, looking for someone to help her find herself again, and looking to me.
A daughter’s love for her mother. Impossible. She died in 1989. But God gave me a new mom. And I am her daughter. Don’t tell me there isn’t a miracle happening here.
Sisterly love. The nuances of sorority are nothing like the “facts” of fraternity. I finally belong to the place where I am – no longer a “misfit in the land of lost toys”, as Toni, one of my many amazing new sisters, would say. Physical love. Sometimes I am near some guy and I get feelings in places I don’t even have yet! OMG. Romantic love. I place my comparatively small hand in his, and a different feeling of correctness travels throughout me. He becomes a part of every thought, as though I have become more, without losing me in the process. He compliments my womanhood, my personhood. To steal (and amend) a line from the movie, As Good As It Gets, he “makes me want to be a better woman.” As years have now gone by, I find that truly understanding my feelings is just another of the multitude of unsolved riddles of life, generally summed up in the one-word question, “Why?” And in its place, comes the understanding that time spent asking is time spent not living. And living is the gift. The spoils of war, as it were. The battle done. Now comes the feeling most pervasive to my existence, wholly unwilling to allow the battlefield to prepare for yet another victim. The struggles are senseless, in that they should never have happened. You will not swallow one more child as I stand silent. As you purposefully destroy soul after soul in some misguided quest to bring light to the darkness, you bring darkness to the light. Your path, from this moment forward, will be required to go through me – and millions like me – all of us feeling the same feelings. It is not anger. It is far more powerful than anger. It is truth. It is justice. It is equality. It is freedom. It is time. It has been said, “to feel is to be alive”. For some, when the feelings are ones of hopelessness, to feel is to die. The most memorable feelings of my life today are these. The feeling of realizing I was not alone – it was possible for me to transition. The feeling of seeing myself in the mirror. And the feeling of knowing I can make a difference. However, in the final analysis, nothing compares to the feeling of feeling without fear – the feeling of the freedom to be me. Stephanie’s columns can also be found at Liberty Press. Stephanie Mott is executive director of the Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project and a member of the Board of Directors at Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka She can be reached at stephanie.mott@k-step.org or stephaniem@mcctopeka.org ]]> -
I now pronounce you spouse and spouse: New York revises terms on marriage license
Frank and I will be finding out soon enough – a trip to City Hall is planned sometime in August. Terminology was always iffy for me. I preferred the word “lover” to “partner” for many years, since partner sounded like I was in business with the man I was waking up with every day. That was twenty years ago, and now I say partner very easily. From what I hear, “husband” and “wife” are slowly making their way into common lgbt currency, but maybe “spouse”, as it will now say on marriage licenses in New York, will win the day.
From the Poughkeepsie Journal:
ALBANY — The state Health Department today released a new marriage license for the state to recognize same-sex couples, changing the form to have two columns for “bride/groom/spouse.”
The new marriage licenses – which add the term spouse — will be distributed to town and city clerk offices across the state in advance of the same-sex marriage law taking effect July 24.
Clerks have been awaiting the new forms so they will be ready to process them when the law starts. Some clerk offices – including in Rochester, Ithaca, Binghamton and New York City – plan to open on July 24, a Sunday, to begin accepting the forms.]]> -
I now pronounce you spouse and spouse: New York revises terms on marriage license
Frank and I will be finding out soon enough – a trip to City Hall is planned sometime in August. Terminology was always iffy for me. I preferred the word “lover” to “partner” for many years, since partner sounded like I was in business with the man I was waking up with every day. That was twenty years ago, and now I say partner very easily. From what I hear, “husband” and “wife” are slowly making their way into common lgbt currency, but maybe “spouse”, as it will now say on marriage licenses in New York, will win the day.
From the Poughkeepsie Journal:
ALBANY — The state Health Department today released a new marriage license for the state to recognize same-sex couples, changing the form to have two columns for “bride/groom/spouse.”
The new marriage licenses – which add the term spouse — will be distributed to town and city clerk offices across the state in advance of the same-sex marriage law taking effect July 24.
Clerks have been awaiting the new forms so they will be ready to process them when the law starts. Some clerk offices – including in Rochester, Ithaca, Binghamton and New York City – plan to open on July 24, a Sunday, to begin accepting the forms.]]> -
Nudging the men in your life to better health
For whatever reasons, men can be reluctant to take of themselves, especially when it comes to regular doctor visits, preventive care, and making those dreaded lifestyle changes. I’ve found it helps to have a partner whose health I’m concerned about – a sort of “we’re in this together” element – but anyone with men they care about can help push them along. Our health, after all, has a ripple effect on those around us and we can ease their minds at the same time we ease our own.
From the CDA Press:
Men’s health issues don’t affect only men. They can significantly impact everyone around them. Women live longer than men, and consequently they see their fathers, brothers, sons, and husbands suffer or die prematurely. From the moment a male is born, statistics show that, on average, he will live a shorter life span than his female counterpart by about five years. Why? Males have higher rates in 12 of the 15 leading causes of death, many of which are preventable. Men need physical exams every year after the age of 40, (not for prostate exams and Viagra) but to prevent heart attacks, stroke, stress related illness and cancer. These diseases can be prevented if caught early enough. If the men in your life are reluctant to get their annual physical exams or avoid getting medical attention, the following approaches may help: • Appeal to his competitive side and his need to be at the top of the hierarchy. Whether it being the head of the household or the CEO of a company, good health means he can continue to be top dog and will be around for a long time. • Find out whether he is more comfortable seeing a male or female health care provider and make sure he’s seeing the one he prefers. Be sure they are the type of physician that inspires rather than scolds or he will never want to go back. Continue reading]]> -
LGBT seniors’ experiences compounded by discrimination
There’s an excellent article in the Rochester City Newspaper about lgbt seniors and the variety of experiences we can face as we age, from meaningful moments of acceptance, to discrimination past and present. We all get old if we’re lucky, but being old and lgbt can have unique challenges – something that’s thankfully coming more to the surface of our cultural consciousness.
From the City Newspaper:
The Gay Golden Years
When Bud, an elderly gay man who lives in a Rochester-area residential community for seniors, posted news clippings outside his door regarding same-sex marriage, the reaction he got from other residents was not overwhelmingly positive. “Some of the pictures were taken down,” he says. “Once someone pinned note paper covering over a picture.” It was a little intimidating, Bud says. It’s also an example of a culture that can be deeply entrenched in some traditional nursing and assisted-living homes: prejudice that can have a profound emotional impact on elderly members of the LGBT community. Though Bud, who recently celebrated his 84th birthday, is out, he’s still cautious. He lives alone and he asked that his last name not be printed. “I’ve always been me,” he says. “But I’ve been careful not to out myself to the wrong people.” Bud is certainly not the first gay man to move into a senior-living community. But he is part of a population of seniors that is gradually becoming more visible both nationally and locally. Gay culture is sometimes criticized for its exaggerated emphasis on youth, but there is growing awareness about older members of the LGBT community – people who have reached their mid-60’s, and are living into their 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. What do we know about them? What are their concerns? Are senior-living communities and nursing homes becoming more accepting of their gay clients? And how do they treat gay couples? Continue reading]]> -
Family matters: the importance of knowing your family’s health history
I’m adopted, which could have made this one tricky for me had I not reconnected with my birth family. I was able to ask them about any history of glaucoma (my nephew has a severe form), when I was diagnosed with hypertension in my right eye. According to Men’s Health, one of the easiest things to do to keep up on what might be coming our way is to attend a family reunion.
From Men’s Health:
There’s actually a reason to keep in touch with Uncle Jim Bob and Cousin Nancy. Your family cancer history can change quite a bit between the ages of 30 and 50—which could mean you need earlier cancer screenings—according to a study in this week’s Journal of the American Medical Association.
The American Cancer Society’s screening schedule is the guideline most doctors use for average folks to schedule cancer tests. For example, it suggests that you should have your first colorectal cancer screening starting at age 50. However, having a close relative diagnosed with cancer can increase your risk and move up your screening schedule by a decade or even two.
Continue reading]]>