-
Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources: Coping with the Role Reversal when Caring for Aging Parents
By Angelica Herrera Venson, DrPH, MPH
The following excerpt is reprinted with permission from Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources.
The term role reversal often comes up when talking about caregiving. It’s a logical idea, right? Suddenly you’re the one telling your parents what they need to do, trying to cajole them into a doctor’s visit, or even helping them out in the bathroom.
How do you cope with this role reversal when caring for aging parents?
There are plenty of approaches that you can take to support yourself as a caregiver, including self-compassion techniques and learning to set boundaries.
But, there’s something even more critical to talk about.
To put it simply – caregiving isn’t a role reversal.
Sure, the situation can feel like a role reversal at times, like when you’re trying to prevent yet another incontinence accident. Yet, there are also some clear differences, ones that need to considered.
-
Steve Hayes’ Tired Old Queen at the Movies: Bette Davis in ‘Dark Victory’
From Steve Hayes’ Tired Old Queen at the Movies (YouTube):
Bette Davis gives an unforgettable performance as a woman on borrowed time, in her personal favorite of all her films, Edmund Goulding’s DARK VICTORY (’39). Costarring George Brent, Humphrey Bogart, Ronald Reagan and the refreshing Irish actress Geraldine Fitzgerald, in her screen debut, it’s a lush, romantic, melodrama that will keep you in tears and on the edge of your seat as you watch one of the legendary actresses do what seemingly nobody did better. Stream DARK VICTORY now! https://amzn.to/3wXKwDx
-
Cat Talk Radio with Molly DeVoss and Co-Host Dewey: Your Cat Is Not a Dog
Welcome to a new shared feature at LGBTSr: Molly DeVoss’s Cat Talk Radio Podcast. Molly is a certified cat behaviorist who helped us a few years ago when we first adopted out cats Wilma and Peanut. There were some behavior issues, and Molly gave us excellent advice. She’s had her podcast for a few years now, and I want to share it with readers of LGBTSr. Have a questions about cats? Molly has a podcast for that!
In this week’s episode, Molly and Dewey discuss the mistake some people make of treating their cats the same way they would treat dogs.
-
Savvy Senior: How to Choose a Medicare Supplemental (Medigap) Policy
By Jim Miller
Dear Savvy Senior,
I’m planning to enroll in original Medicare in a few months and have been told I probably need to get a Medicare supplemental policy too. Can you offer any tips on selecting one?
Almost 65
Dear Almost,
If you’re enrolling in original Medicare, getting a supplemental policy (also known as Medigap insurance) too is a smart idea because it will help pay for things that aren’t covered by Medicare like copayments, coinsurance and the Part A deductible. Here are some tips to help you choose an appropriate plan.
-
A Killer Summer Giveaway! 2 Marshall James Thrillers FREE for Five Days
For the first five days of summer you can download two free Marshall James Thrillers for your Kindle reading pleasure. Settle in under your beach umbrella, and start those pages turning! Available from June 21 through 25.
MURDER AT THE PAISLEY PARROTTime waits for no one, including Marshall James. Now 58 and living in New York City, Marshall has outlived the expiration date he was given with a cancer diagnosis three years ago. He beat the odds but he knows he may not beat the clock. So he’s decided to tell a story or three about some murders he was involved in back in the day.
The year was 1983. The bar was the Paisley Parrot in Hollywood, a gay, mob-run dive where people came to drink and few of them remembered the night before. Marshall loves his job as a bartender there. But one night, among the regulars, a killer arrives.
“It was 1984. Prince ruled the airwaves. The Los Angeles Olympics had come and gone, taking with it a spotlight that had shone harshly on the city’s night crawlers and left them thankful for the shadows. AIDS was spreading its dark, black, wings over us all, and I was a happy guy. At least I thought I was, until things took a sudden turn for the deadly.” – Marshall James
It’s been over a year since Marshall James first became intimately familiar with murder. He’s six months sober now and happily living with the love of his life, LAPD Detective Mac McElroy. Despite the coming storm of AIDS and its devastating toll on the world Marshall knows, his dark days seem to be behind him. Then one night he says the wrong thing, storms out in anger, and walks straight into a nightmare.
-
Savvy Senior: How to Get Underutilized COVID Funeral Assistance Funds
By Jim Miller
Dear Savvy Senior,
I recently saw a news segment on TV about a government funeral assistance program available to families who lost loved ones during the pandemic. What can you tell me about this? I lost my 78-year-old mother to COVID in 2021 and want to find out if I’m still eligible for any funeral funds, and if so, what I need to do to get them.
Still Sad
Dear Sad,
I’m very sorry about the loss of your mother. The government program you are asking about is the COVID-19 Funeral Assistance Program administered by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (or FEMA). This program is part of the American Rescue Plan, a stimulus package passed in 2021 in an effort to help the country financially manage amid the pandemic.
This program, which has no end date, offers up to $9,000 to cover the cost of a funeral for someone who died of COVID-19 as far back as January 2020.
Unfortunately, less than half the people believed eligible for funeral assistance have actually applied for it. Here’s what you should know about the program’s requirements and how to apply.
-
The Twist Podcast #194: Cashing In On Pride, Seditious Conspiracy Blues, and Hot Time at the School Board Tonight
Join co-hosts Mark McNease and Rick Rose as we survive the crumbling American empire, ponder the corporate Pride craze from Whoppers to Pride-cicles, and talk about this week’s headlines. Plus Twist Tops, listicles, and a move to Thursdays!
-
The Twist Podcast #194: Cashing In On Pride, Seditious Conspiracy Blues, and Hot Time at the School Board Tonight
Join co-hosts Mark McNease and Rick Rose as we survive the crumbling American empire, ponder the corporate Pride craze from Whoppers to Pride-cicles, and talk about this week’s headlines. Plus Twist Tops, listicles, and a move to Thursdays!
-
Ronni Sanlo’s This Day in Lesbian Herstory (June 3 – 9)
Ronni Sanlo’s This Day in Lesbian Herstory makes the past ever-present with daily rundowns of historic events and people.
Ronni Sanlo
THIS DAY in LESBIAN HERSTORY -
Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources: Sleep Medication Risks and Alternatives for Seniors
By Angelica Herrera Venson, DrPH, MPH
The following excerpt is reprinted with permission from Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources.
Many people struggle with sleeping, for a wide range of different reasons. These issues often get worse with age and with any chronic health problems.
In some cases, the solution may be as simple, such as following healthy sleep practices, ensuring that bedtime is roughly the same each night and avoiding bright light in the evening.
However, many seniors find that sleeping problems persist, even if they had no such issues in their younger years. This pattern often leads to sleeping medication. Such medication can be effective in the short-term. But, only be considered when no other options are available, as there are multiple risks and side effects.
-
Savvy Senior: Adaptive Clothing Takes the Stress Out of Dressing
By Jim Miller
Dear Savvy Senior,
What kinds of clothing options are available to mobility challenged seniors who have a difficult time dressing?
Looking for Mom
Dear Looking,
The chore of dressing and undressing in traditional clothing can be difficult, time-consuming and even painful for millions of people with certain health and mobility problems. Fortunately, there’s a wide variety special clothing, known as “adaptive clothing,” that can help with most dressing challenges. Here’s what you should know.
-
On Dreamshaping: Enough Is Enough
Mark McNease
It’s not hard to observe the world around us and see how easy it is to live in a state of lack and fear: lack because we think that what we have is not enough, and fear of losing what we already possess! I’ve done it myself for an entire lifetime, starting as a child who needed validation and wanted more of whatever it was I had, on into adulthood where satisfaction and contentment have been fleeting and conditioned on believing, just for a few moments, that I was fulfilled. It’s the kind of completion I’ve felt after writing the last few lines of a novel, or winning some accolade that proved to me I was accepted. Those feelings of wholeness never last long, because they are not about who I truly am and want to be, but about markers of success, reassurances that I am not the failure I suspected I was.
-
Back to Real Life … An Update
Our 10-night cruise was wonderful. I highly recommend Newport, Rhode Island. Then we sailed to Bermuda – been there, done that – and finally to Charleston on the way home. And now it’s back to the grind of retirement, or semi-retirement, or “I just need to make some money and get out of the house” retirement.
My husband Frank and I are as active as ever. He has been job-free for a number of years now and stays amazingly busy all the time. Me? Not so much. I write murder mysteries, publish websites, and do podcasts in the mornings, and then I often find myself with empty afternoons. SO … I will be returning to my old job, but only part-time. Three days a week, six hours a day. It will help pay for my COBRA insurance for the next year-and-a-half until I’m on Medicare. And it’s great insurance! It wasn’t as expensive as I’d worried it would be, and it’s very good coverage.
I enjoy the people I worked with in the Giant deli, and they’re excited to have me coming back. That was always the plan.
I’ll be back with the weekly LGBTSr.com emails starting next Saturday: The Weekly Readlines, Savvy Senior, columns, reviews, DIY suggestions, and more new things as the year progresses.
I have also finally (finally!) finished the second book in the Maggie Dahl Mystery series. The first was Black Cat White Paws, and now, coming soon … Open Secrets. A local writer who is mentioned in the first book takes center stage in book #2, as someone decides they don’t want her finishing the follow up to her successful collection of essays. Maggie finds herself involved and unable to stop searching for another killer in Lambertville, New Jersey, that never seemed to have much in the way of murder until she moved to town. Arriving this summer!
All subscribers will receive a complimentary 6 chapter excerpt!
See you soon.