I last wrote about being a 52 year old gay male executive assistant losing my job. I made some assumptions on that about the possibility of gender discrimination (I’m the only male assistant in the company as far as I know) and my thinking the odds weren’t good for finding another job here after ten years when my competitors are all women, most of them younger. It turns out I’m probably wrong. I have an interview Thursday and may well get the job. Sometimes I think a lifetime of soft (and sometimes hard) discrimination colors my thinking. I hope I’m wrong and that I have a few more good years with the company. Frank and I aren’t ready to move to the Jersey countryside just yet. Losing a job working for the same person for six years (I’ve only worked for two people in the decade I’ve been here) is emotional. Having the company taken over, then two years later a decisive management change that seemed brutal, left me with a kind of fever that needed time to cool. My boss will be just fine. And her boss (who I started working for in 2001) will be fine. Everyone will be just fine, including me. The fever breaks, and I’m left with a clearer head, the best kind of head with which to face the changes life brings. And decisions made from a fevered mind are most often bad decisions. What I would have done two weeks ago is not what I’ll do today. Cool down, breathe, let the clear air of a calm mind breeze into your thinking and you can choose from a place of clarity.]]>

Imagine you’re a woman executive assistant. Then imagine the other 50 or so other assistants are all men. Would it not occur to you that maybe there’s some gender bias going on? And any time you mention it, no one can believe it. They think it’s all in your head, despite your having lost every job you’ve applied for at this company for the last 10 years to a man. Now flip it. I’m a 52 year old gay male executive assistant, the last of my kind in the company I work for. We’re a global operation and I’m in a global position, knowing pretty much everyone in the different regions. There used to be 3 or 4 male assistants in New York. Now there’s only me and one fellow whose title is ‘research assistant,’ and my job has been eliminated. I’m not paranoid, I’m just observant and honest. I know the odds are not good for me getting an open executive assistant position when I’m competing with women in an environment where this is considered a woman’s job. Yes, the company touts its diversity efforts. Yes, it’s LGBT-friendly and all that. But the diversity awareness seems to stop when it comes to hiring an executive assistant. I don’t necessarily blame people; I don’t think they’re even aware of what they’re doing. But I know from many years of experience that most men in corporate management assume their assistant will be/should be a woman. Some of it, frankly, is homophobia, conscious or unconscious. I was lucky when I started here that the man who hired me couldn’t care less that I was a gay man. I did a good job and that’s all that mattered. But I won’t fool myself. I’m in my 50s, I’m a man in a position held overwhelmingly by women, and I’m gay. A diversity triple-header if any of them thought about it, but they don’t. More to follow in the coming days . . .]]>

City Councilwoman Gail Brewer has published a guide that maps out 23 major grocery stores in her district and details them for age-friendliness. From the New York Times: Created on the Upper West Side. Flying off the shelves. Tina Fey’s “Bossypants”? O.K., that too, but also City Councilwoman Gale A. Brewer’s age-friendly grocery guide. The guide, created by Ms. Brewer’s staff, maps out 23 major grocery stores in her district, and lists them according to amenities that elderly citizens — and others, too — might find appealing: • Handicap-accessible restrooms.
• Any public restrooms, for that matter.
• Meat, poultry or fish sold in single portions.
• “Seating provided, or available upon request.”
• Senior discounts.
• The ability to shop online — or by phone. Ms. Brewer unveiled the guide at an April 5 symposium called “Becoming Age-Friendly: The Upper West Side,” which she sponsored with the New York Academy of Medicine, the city’s Department of Cultural Affairs and Department of Parks and Recreation, among other groups. That day, all 500 copies of the grocery guide were snapped up.
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SWAT team corners chocolate bunny Once it was the Mafia eating away at the soul of New York City. Now it’s store owners selling illegal chocolate eggs. Where’s Eliot Ness when you need him? From Fox Nation: Manhattan candy sellers had their Kinder eggs confiscated in raids by Consumer Product Safety Commission last week, DNAinfo has learned. The businesses, which sold the hollow milk chocolate eggs that contain a toy in a plastic capsule, were profiled by DNAinfo last week. The CPSC has banned the eggs, which are popular abroad and made by Italian manufacturer, Ferraro, because they are viewed as a choking hazard. At TriBeCa’s gourmet Jin Market, the CPSC seized a box of Kinder eggs, which have labels saying for children three and up.

Cross-posted from MadeMark.net]]>

Keeping my eye out for content and resources for this site, I came across a great one: The Savvy Senior. By its own definition the site is, “A national information service devoted to older Americans and the families who support them. Through a variety of media, Savvy Senior provides information and resources through its nationally syndicated newspaper column, senior newswire service, resource books, weekly radio program and television features on NBC, CNBC, CNN and Retirement Living TV.” I’ve added a link to it on the left sidebar. Check it out.]]>

I reviewed Larry Kramer’s ‘The Normal Heart’ for a local Los Angeles gay paper when it played there in the mid-1980s. I went to see it with my partner Jim, who subsequently died from AIDS in 1991. I almost bought tickets this morning to go see it in Broadway previews, but Frank, whose partner Michael died five years ago (not long before we met) just isn’t up to it. I can understand, it brings back painful memories for those of us old enough to have lived through the wave of loss and its lingering effects. I remember asking Richard Dreyfuss (he was playing the lead) during the Q&A how we were going to change attitudes when sex-on-demand was being treated as a civil right by gay men at the time. There were protests in Los Angeles when they tried to close the bathhouses. They stayed open, and we’ll never know how many men might be alive today had it been treated as the critical public health crisis it was. Kramer was recently interviewed in Salon and had, as usual, some things to say about the state of gay in 2011. From Salon.com: The problem with gay men today To say Larry Kramer is polarizing is like saying Rush Limbaugh is a little bit conservative. The Pulitzer-nominated playwright, screenwriter, author and activist has been one of the most controversial figures in American gay life over the past 30 years. He first incensed gay men in 1978 with “Faggots,” his eerily prescient novel that critiqued the gay community’s culture of promiscuity. And as a co-founder of Gay Men’s Health Crisis and the founder of ACT UP, the influential AIDS activist group, he became one of the most strident and passionate voices in the early years of the AIDS crisis. While making countless enemies, most notably New York Mayor Ed Koch, he was one of the people most responsible for drawing attention to the disease. Over the last decade and a half, as AIDS has transitioned from a death sentence to largely treatable and gay culture has transitioned from the margins to somewhere closer to the mainstream, Kramer has remained (almost) as angry as ever. In 2005, he published “The Tragedy of Today’s Gays,” a transcript of a speech in which he attacked the younger generation of gay men for their apathy over gay causes and accused them of condemning their “predecessors to nonexistence.” Continue reading.]]>