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Health Beat: Finding Ways to Deal with Chronic Pain
Health Beat is a feature at LGBTSr promoting health and well-being.
By Mark McNease
There’s something psychologically debilitating about walking with a cane, or wearing sandals that can accommodate an ankle brace. Two sizes too large? I had no other choice if I wanted more than one pair of shoes I could wear, which has been the case for a week.
When the mighty fall
Chronic pain affects millions of people, and we can find ourselves dealing with it at a moment’s notice. For me, it was a very sudden fall in the yard just over a week ago. I was dragging a hose across the lawn, walking sideways, and suddenly …. SNAP, my ankle bent sideways and every overweight pound of me went falling to the ground. I’ve had this happen before, but never so seriously. I also landed on my chest, and a week later I’m dealing with both the ankle, and, to a lesser degree, rib pain.
We’re going on a cruise next week. Between that and simply wanting to function—I don’t know how anyone stands being bed or couch ridden for more than a day—I went to an orthopedist. Now that I have Medicare there’s no reason not to, but old habits of avoiding doctors die hard.
Chronic pain is caused by any number of reasons, such as injury, illness, aging, or stress. It can, and does, have a negative impact on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, as well as your quality of life. There’s something psychologically debilitating about walking with a cane, or wearing sandals that can accommodate an ankle brace. Two sizes too large? I had no other choice if I wanted more than one pair of shoes I could wear, which has been the case for a week.
Take heart: there are ways to cope with chronic pain and manage its symptoms. Following are some tips and strategies that can help, or at least inspire you to find your own ways of coping.
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Transition Mentor Wendy Cole: An Introduction (Part I)
I knew Wendy when we both worked at the same place several years ago in New Hope, PA. I often wondered where she went and what she was up to. And now I know! She was generous enough to share her past, present and future with us, and I’m delighted to have her as a guest columnist for this six-part series. – Mark/Editor
I was born transgender! It’s not like people like myself never existed before. We’ve always existed in hiding. It’s one of those things of nature that nothing is ever completely black and white. Nature doesn’t necessarily follow societal norms imposed by man. The hetero societal norms and standards, called “socialization”, begin with our parents, through school and into our adult and work life. Before we’re born, the question family wants to know is, do we wrap it in a pink blanket or do we wrap it in a blue blanket? We’re told certain ways of thinking and behaving. This socialization is generally based on your “sex” assigned at birth. Socialization is certain expectations you need to meet to be perceived as male or female. And it is initially based your physical anatomy at birth. Most of the time, doctors get it right. But “gender”, male or female is between your ears not between your legs. And with me, they got it all wrong! I knew most of the things expected of me from early childhood were wrong for me. But I was without any other options having grown up in the fifties and sixties.
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One Thing or Another: The Back of the Line Looks Better Every Day
One Thing or Another … a lighthearted look at life, aging, and the absurdities of it all.
By Mark McNease
Age has a strange effect on time: the more we have of one, the less we have of the other.
When my mother died twenty-four years ago I told someone that losing our parents meant we were moving closer to the turnstile. Then my father died, and the parents of everyone I knew who was my age or near it. The truth became inescapable that we were next: our siblings, our friends, people we looked up to and people we looked down upon. Everyone, it seems, is destined for the same fate, and it was quickening its pace. Each loss takes us nearer to our own jumping off place, and with the departure of every friend, peer and acquaintance comes the uncomfortable sensation that we really, truly, may be next.
It’s not maudlin to stare at the shortening line and see the rollercoaster coming round the tracks for us. There’s the sense it won’t be long now, and pretty soon—whether it’s a year from now, or ten years, or twenty—I’ll be fastened into the tiny car, have the bar pressed into me and locked for safety, and rocket off into the unknown. It’s a ride we all must take alone. There will be no one seated next to us screaming with delight as we plunge into … wherever it is we go, or don’t go. I’m not personally invested in the next ride, if there is one, or the next. Heaven can definitely wait for me, since I’ve never had any interest in going there. My hope, and belief, is to flicker out, having lived as bravely and as brightly as I could. Beyond that, just drop me back into the ocean, it’s fine with me.
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Savvy Senior’s Senior Newswire May 6
Included in this week’s Senior Newswire, brought to you by Savvy Senior
• Assistive Devices and Senior Gadgets
• Caregiving and Support Services
• Computer and Internet
• Employment
• End of Life Issues
• Finances and Retirement
• Grandparenting and Intergenerational Family
• Government Resources and Assistance
• Health Resources
• Housing, Long Term Care and Universal Design
• Insurance
• Legal Issues and Resources
• Leisure, Learning and Personal Growth
• Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security
• Older Drivers and Transportation
• Relationships and Online Dating -
Silver Sage Sisters Blog Shares Insights and Lived Experiences from Older Women
I’ve gotten to know Mary Ann, two of the bloggers at Silver Sage Sisters, through her brother Tim and his husband Ron. They’ve become dear friends with me and Frank. We often go to the theater together at Lambertville’s Music Mountain Theatre, and then head out for dinner. We’ve also been graciously invited to Ron and Tim’s house in New Hope for special feasts, and the lovely Mary Ann is always there. Enjoy their blog! Soak up some wisdom, by women for women about women.
“Silver Sage Sisters are friends near or in retirement who have been sharing the wisdom of their experiences with each other. Glimmers of hope, ideas, learnings and failures are components of each of our lives. Freely and openly, we share our insights and experiences with other women so each and all of us know we are never alone.”
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2-Hour Online Guided Autobiography Introductory Workshops May 29 and June 3
And we’re off! I’ll be holding two 2-hour online Guided Autobiography introductory workshops on Wednesday, May 29, from 2:00 – 4:00 p.m. eastern and Monday, June 3, from 10:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. eastern (for the morning people!)
THEY’RE FREE! My introductory workshops are always complimentary.
Register here for Wednesday, May 29
Register here for Monday, June 3
What is Guided Autobiography? Let’s begin with its description from the Guided Autobiography website:
“Guided Autobiography (GAB) has been researched and developed by Dr. James Birren over the past 40 years as a method for helping people document their life stories. Guided by a trained instructor, participants are led through themes and priming questions that evoke memories of events once known but filed away and seemingly forgotten. Each participant writes a two-page story on a particular theme each week, brings the story to class and reads it to a small group of receptive classmates. Writing and sharing life stories with others is an ideal way to find new meaning in life and to put life events into perspective. While connecting with one another on their journeys of self-discovery, participants feel enlivened by the group experience and gain a greater appreciation of their own lives and of the lives of others. GAB can be a powerful catalyst for improved self-esteem, self-confidence and communication within communities and within families.”
Read more about Guided Autobiography here.
These workshops are limited to 6 people*, so RSVP and grab your spot now.
*I’ll add additional online workshops as each one fills up. First come/first reserved. – Mark
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The Twist Podcast #262: Big Wheels for Big Kids, ‘Black River Orchard,’ and Rick Shows Up on the ‘Where Do Gays Retire?’ Podcast
Join co-hosts Mark McNease and Rick Rose as we talk apples and Big Wheels, chaplains coming to a school near you, Rick’s guest turn on the ‘Where Do Gays Retire?’ podcast, and the Book Beat recommends ‘Black River Orchard’ for some serious scares.
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Biographer Gabriella Kelly-Davies Launches ‘Biographers in Conversation’ Podcast
“In this episode of Biographers in Conversation Gabriella chats with Bernadette Brennan about her book: A Writing Life. Helen Garner and her Work, a literary portrait of one of Australia’s most vital and revered authors.”
About Biographers In Conversation
Biographer Gabriella Kelly-Davies chats with biographers across the world about the multiplicity of choices they make while researching, writing and publishing life stories.
In each episode she explores elements of narrative strategy such as structure, use of fiction techniques, facts and truth, beginnings and endings and to what extent the writer interpreted the evidence rather than providing clues and leaving it to readers to do the interpreting themselves.
She also asks writers how they researched their books; how they balanced a subject’s public, personal and inner lives; and ethical issues such as privacy and revealing secrets.
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Twist Podcast Co-Host Rick Rose Featured on ‘Where Do Gays Retire?’ Podcast
I’m pleased to share that my Twist Podcast co-host Rick Rose was recently interviewed on the Where Do Gays Retire? Podcast, hosted by Mark Goldstein. LISTEN HERE.
Summary (from Where Do Gays Retire?)
Rick Rose, a retired producer, writer, and director, discusses his move from Shreveport, Louisiana to Madison, Wisconsin. He shares his reasons for choosing Madison and talks about the climate and amount of snow in the area. Rick also discusses the LGBTQ+ community in Madison and the absence of a specific gayborhood.
He highlights the growth and economy of Madison, the ease of making friends, and the presence of arts and culture in the city.
Rick also mentions the local food and dining scene in Madison. Madison, Wisconsin has a vibrant arts and entertainment scene, with a thriving comedy community and a diverse range of performances and events.
The city also has a strong public transportation system, with options for biking, electric transportation, and plans for an Amtrak center.
Healthcare in Madison is highly regarded, with access to quality providers and affordable insurance options.
While crime exists, Madison is considered a safe city overall. The city also has a significant Native American community and is working towards preserving and promoting Native American culture and tourism.
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Cathy’s Wealth of Health: Healing the Liver in Spring
By Cathy McNease, Dipl CH, RH
Healing the Liver in Spring
Spring has arrived with its chirping baby birds, windy weather and multitudes of fragrant blossoms. The Spring is associated with the Wood Element (Liver and Gall Bladder). We will be the healthiest when we attempt to attune our energies to that of the natural seasons around us. Imagine your energy is like that of a tree – if you observe the natural flow of the tree’s Qi (vital energy) through the seasons, you get an idea of being in harmony with Nature. In the winter the energy is deep in the trunk and roots, storing up for seasons to come. In spring the tree’s Qi (vital energy) moves upward and outward to the branches, forming buds.
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One Thing or Another: Pills for All Our Ills
One Thing or Another … a lighthearted look at life, aging, and the absurdities of it all.
Mark McNease
Too many episodes of heartburn after a meal? It must be GERD! Cholesterol numbers not what they should be? Here’s a statin!
I don’t know about your doctor—how could I?—but my primary care physician is one of those nice, softspoken, well-meaning doctors with a great office manner who reacts to every ill I present him with by prescribing some new medication. Most recently, it was something for Restless Leg Syndrome, which I dutifully took as prescribed for several weeks while I kept reading about its applications and side effects. Two things stood out: it can increase my risk of deadly melanoma, and it shouldn’t be stopped without first weaning off it for an extended period of time. Hmm, I thought, finger to lips while I processed this information. I’m not interested in making myself more vulnerable to skin cancer than I already am, as a fair-skinned older man of British and Irish descent. And I really don’t want to take something I can’t decide to stop taking without lowering the dose first over a period of weeks. I don’t have the patience for it, and I don’t like anything that can have its hooks that deeply into me.
Of course I stopped on my own, with just a day of real or imagined discomfort. The bigger issue for me is that my doctor, like too many others, made no attempt to determine if I do, in fact, have Restless Leg Syndrome. This kind of instant diagnosis happens all the time. Too many episodes of heartburn after a meal? It must be GERD! Cholesterol numbers not what they should be? Here’s a statin!
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YourWritePath Workshops Coming in May and June
Things are kicking into high gear. I’ll be offering four more 2-hour workshops (May 4 Fiction Essentials is full!). Follow the links beneath each description to register. Two are online, two are in-person (the Fiction Essentials workshop on June 9 is for congregants of the First Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Hunterdon County, where I’m a member).
“Storytelling is healing. As we reveal ourselves in story, we become aware of the continuing core of our lives under the fragmented surface of our experience. We become aware of the multifaceted, multi-chaptered ‘I’ who is the storyteller. We can trace out the paradoxical and even contradictory versions of ourselves that we create for different occasions, different audiences… Most important, as we become aware of ourselves as storytellers, we realized that what we understand and imagine about ourselves is a story. And when we know all this, we can use our stories to heal and make ourselves whole.”
—Susan Wittig Albert, Writing From Life
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Book Review: Here We Go Again, by Alison Cochrun
By Terri Schlichenmeyer
The Bookworm Sez“Here We Go Again” by Alison Cochrun
c.2024, Atria $17.99 368 pages… Joe didn’t want to die surrounded by hospital walls. Would Logan and Rosemary drive him and his dog to Maine, to a cabin he owned? Would they spend time crammed side-by-side in a used van with a gay logo, keeping Joe alive, coast-to-coast? Could they do it without screaming the whole way?
Can you do me a solid?
Just one little favor, a quick errand, it won’t take long. You can do it next time you’re out, in fact. Consider it your good deed for the day, if it makes you feel better. A mitzvah. An indulgence to a fellow human. As in the new novel, “Here We Go Again” by Alison Cochrun, think of it as a life-changing thing.
She couldn’t remember the woman’s first name.
Did Logan Maletis really ever know it? Everybody at her job – administration, students, other teachers – called everyone else by their last name so the colleague she’d been hooking up with for weeks was just “Schaffer.” Whatever, Logan didn’t care and she wasn’t cold-hearted but when Savannah broke up with her in public, she did wonder if maybe, possibly, the awful names she called Logan were fair or true.
Rosemary Hale would’ve agreed with every single last one of those nasty names.
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