On Dreamshaping: The Slippage of Time

Are human beings the only animals aware of time passing? Do cats know they’re getting old? Do fish ever wish they’d swum in this direction instead of that one? Is a tree concerned at all with the number of years it has stood rooted in one spot?

When we were children, most of us had occasion to hear those words, “When you’re older …” We were told that someday we would be able to drive a car, or go on a date, or leave home. Patience was required, tested by anticipation and desire. We waited because we had to, and each time we reached that milestone, that magical “older,” and we got our driver’s license, or we went on a first date, we looked ahead to the next thing we could experience when the time came.

The years flew by, and we realized too quickly that there was nothing left to be denied us until we were older. We reached an age when we could do whatever we wanted to, and still we put it off. “When you’re older” became “I’ll get to it tomorrow.” So many dreams deferred became dreams unrealized. I never took singing lessons. I never acted on a stage. I never bet it all on one number with the unshakeable belief the roulette wheel would stop there.

I’m an old tree now, a fish who often wonders where I would have found myself had I taken a left turn at the sunken ship instead of a right. I’m not dissatisfied, and regret is pointless, but I still keep telling myself, “someday.” Someday I’ll give my final notice and be done with this job. Someday I’ll do this, or go there, and be a child again living an experience for the first time. There is no “older” left for me, no package waiting to be opened when the time arrives. It already has. So do it, be it, taste it, smell it, feel it, and know there’s no such thing as, “When you’re younger.”