Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources: How Do I Get My Siblings To Help Care For Our Aging Parents?
The following excerpt is reprinted with permission from Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resources.
Caregiving is rarely distributed evenly. Sometimes everyone pitches in, but often one child does the lion’s share of the caregiving, while others do little or nothing at all.
It’s frustrating and overwhelming, especially if you’re burning out trying to support your parents.
So, how do you change the dynamic? How do you get your siblings to help with care?
While there isn’t a magic phrase that will make them get on board, there are some valuable things to think about and new approaches to take. Some may even get your sibling to help, while others may change the situation in other ways.
Why Don’t Siblings Provide More Care?
Rather than delving straight into how you can get siblings to help more, we need to talk about why they’re not.
The default explanation might be that they’re selfish or lazy, but let’s put that to one side for the moment. While those labels might be accurate for some siblings, there are plenty of other explanations as well.
They Have Other Priorities
Some children choose to prioritize their parents above everything else, including their own health and relationships. Others take a different approach. They might focus on their spouse or kids, or perhaps their job. Even travel, hobbies, and adventure are in the mix for some people.
You might think they’re selfish for not prioritizing your parents, but there isn’t actually a right and wrong here.
About Cassie Greenfield, BSc, MSc
Cassie wears many hats at Kapok. She is a key content contributor and ideas woman, while also being the website designer and manager, and technical support guru. Her academic background is in biology and biochemistry, but she has also been fascinated by sociology, mental health, and the challenges that people face as they navigate their lives.
Cassie also has first-hand experience of being a full-time unpaid caregiver, while simultaneously working from home, which gives her powerful insight into many of the challenges that caregivers face.
You can see all of her posts here or learn more on her own website.
About Angelica Herrera Venson, DrPH, MPH
Founder of Kapok Aging and Caregiver Resouces
Angelica Herrera Venson, DrPH, MPH is a gerontologist born in San Diego and raised on both sides of the U.S-Mexico border. She’s a public health advocate who has spent two decades in community health work and research investigating how immigrant and racial /ethnic minority family caregivers and seniors navigate old age and seek out health and elder care. Today, Angelica supports some of Arizona’s community health centers, which serve primarily Medicaid and underserved communities, in their transition to value-based care.
About Multicultural Guide to Caregiving
Author and gerontologist, Angelica P. Herrera Venson, DrPH, opens up and shares her family’s personal stories and lessons from her field work and research on aging and caregiving with communities of color and first generation Americans.